Expanding Your Comfort Zone is a Necessity, For Life
The ‘comfort zone’ — a psychological state in which one feels safe and at ease due to the familiar surroundings, surroundings they believe are in their control.
In other words:
The comfort zone is the place where your dreams come to die!
Think of all the successful people you have heard of or idolized and I can show you multiple people who found success by stepping out of their comfort zone at some point in their life.
I won’t go into an example list because, well, it’d be too damn long. But trust me a quick google search will show you all you need to realise that the comfort zone is not the place you’ll find your success.
“The only thing that is stopping you from where you are to where you want to go is your comfort zone.” — Dhaval Gaudier
If you want to start achieving more or you have dreams for a better life but have not taken any steps to get there, if there’s something you’ve always wanted to try but were too scared to do so, that’s your comfort zone and that’s you staying within it.
That’s not to say leaving your comfort zone is easy or that once you leave your comfort zone you’ll see instant success. No, nothing in life worth having comes easy but the journey and the process of taking a step out of your comfort zone day-by-day will equate to huge things over time.
By stepping out of your comfort zone, you get to EXPAND your comfort zone and then all of a sudden the things you weren’t comfortable with before become easier to accomplish — sounds almost like magic right?
My beginning:
Honestly, there was a long period of time where I didn’t challenge my comfort zone as much as I should have. I grew up in a working-class town of South Yorkshire, England where honestly not a lot of people did it either. For the people that did, they were ridiculed and mocked because no one looks good when they’re learning something at first… looking good comes later.
I didn’t try many new things growing up because of this fear from my peers and others. I kept it comfortable and had it pretty easy. However, it wasn’t exceptional.
Eventually, I had had enough of this and wanted to achieve more so I began consuming tonnes of content around the comfort zone and just people doing things with their life. (At my workplace I’m known as the TED talk guy so if you ever need a recommendation just let me know;). I listened to their journeys, their struggles, their key-points on what to start with and how to overcome fear.
This began my self-development journey. Think of the film Yes Man with Jim Carrey.
How I started leaving my comfort zone:
At this point, I had already left my hometown to go to University (albeit my new hometown wasn’t much further away), it was a brand new experience in and of itself. Being there I was already stepping out into the unknown and made my progress as many other students do.
Pretty soon I was comfortable again. Going to the same locations, taking the same routes to class, eating the same foods etc and the knowledge/inspiration I was digesting took a backseat in a sense.
Because overall that’s what this journey is about. It’s never going to be a continual progression. But as long as you recognise those moments when you settle back down and choose to challenge yourself again.
A key turning point I had was being offered an internship that I had applied for as part of my degree. A cultural exchange company who pride themselves in exploring the unknown and inspiring others to do the same. PERFECT, I thought.
I remembered all of the content I had consumed before and the fear that came with even thinking about starting something new. It’s overwhelming sometimes. Just remember that not taking action, is equivalent to staying stuck.
Here are some of the lessons I learned along the way that may help you to break out of your comfort zone too.
#1 — Take baby steps.
Start small, it doesn’t have to be groundbreaking.
I remember having this discussion one day with a few of my friends at work, one of which (it turns out) was huge on wanting to break out of their comfort zone too. So we started doing challenges.
These challenges on paper won’t seem huge. But try this for am example: Go into your local town or the high street, a place FULL of people… and just throw your arms in the air and hold them there as you walk around.
You will feel ridiculous and that everyone is watching you. Yet, after just 30 seconds you will feel accomplished and progressive. This was a big one for me and I honestly felt fantastic afterwards and did it multiple times. Not to be different, but to see (and believe) that nothing bad comes from the judgement of others.
#2 — FEAR is only prevalent in your mind.
Fear: an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger.
The rabbit hole is forever ongoing when it comes to the topic of fear. Endless opinions, scientific studies, epiphanies, anecdotes and beliefs. What we all agree on is that fear leads to inaction, which can brew more fear leading to even more inaction… the cycle goes on.
Escaping your comfort zone will bring with it a lot of fear but really what is there to be worried about? Prehistorically, cavemen were right to have fear upon leaving their cave in search of food, where real danger existed — death.
Everything I have ever feared doing, skydiving, trying new food, meeting new people, trying a new sport, going to new countries I realised during and afterwards that there was never anything to fear in the first place. Knowing this concept beforehand will make trying new things even easier!
They say you are born with two fears: loud noises, and heights. Don’t allow yourself to be held back by imaginary fears inflicted on you.
#3 — Learn to say yes to more opportunities.
A couple of things to initially clear up here: No, this doesn’t mean you must or should say yes to absolutely everything good or bad. Opportunities can come in many different forms but you should still use judgement before you say yes to them. The key thing here is that you don’t let your mind talk you out of going for something if you initially think yes.
Another one would be to understand that this doesn’t mean it has to come from an outside source. It can simply be saying yes to yourself and allowing yourself permission to try something new e.g. “Yes, I am going to try to learn this today”.
The more I started to practice baby steps and the more I realised fear was only created in my mind, I started saying yes to more experiences. By doing this you will continually open doors to bring success and growth into your life.
Try it next time, maybe even physically say yes out loud but learn to start accepting and allowing these experiences to come your way.
#4 — Surround yourself with inspired people.
The benefit that a supportive community can have on you is miraculous. Spend some time evaluating your current circle. If those people, especially the closest to you don’t necessarily show support or encourage you to grow then you should start seeking out new connections.
I have heard numerous times from different people that; “you are the product of your 5 closest friends” or “if you seek to level up, surround yourself with people that are better than you”. It couldn’t be more true.
When I started my internship at a place that valued itself on being supportive and aimed to “inspire others to go further” I couldn’t help but be surrounded by these people. I was also lucky enough to leave school with some incredible friends that wanted more for their life also.
This helped me feel supported when I made new ventures and tested myself in new avenues, they cheered for my successes and I there’s. It provides you with an extra boost of confidence when you need it most and sometimes even valuable lessons that you haven’t learned yet.
#5 — Celebrate your smallest of victories. Then seek new ones.
The journey to expand your comfort zone is never-ending. There will always be something new to learn, or something new to experience.
The comfort zone is an intangible ‘thing’, it’s not something that we can see or touch so it is difficult to measure. We can only begin to measure it and see the benefit of stepping outside of our comfort zone in the things we are attempting to do which will bring a tangible (usually) result.
Therefore, it is important to always celebrate yourself for doing something even if nobody else celebrates it for you. By celebrating your victories when stepping outside of your comfort zone you build up your tolerance to do so. Think of it almost like a stamina bar from a video game.
This can come in a simple and subtle fist pump for yourself, treating yourself to something or just sharing success with others.
Furthermore, it’s also vital you don’t settle for just a couple of victories. I believe you should be happy with the progress but as Terry Crew’s once said in a speech — “Be happy but don’t be satisfied…be dissatisfied it is okay to want more for yourself and to want to achieve more. Do it”.
A continued journey:
I hope that some of these points resonate with you, or inspire you to try to step out of your comfort zone more. There has never been anything that I’ve tried when doing this that I regret or wish I didn’t do… and I’m sure many people would agree.
“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” — Henry Ford
I continually try to find new ways to step out of my comfort zone. Currently, I am working on my medium articles for example. I have wanted to write, share with and inspire others (in any way I can for me) for a long time but the “fear” had me stunned. Which, is why I say it’s always important to remember why you’re doing the things you are doing and to remind yourself that really at the end of the day, there is no fear to be had in this.
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” — Dale Carnegie
