You already have the key to your dreams, you just aren’t using it yet.

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. — Walt Disney

In May, I wrote two pieces for my friend Megan May Miller’s blog on the importance of having a center, and how letting things external to that center (like my pitching performance on any given day) dictate your happiness is no way to live.

As a part of that journey, I had to do some serious thinking about what success really meant me, because my definition of success at the time was what determined my mood and overall happiness in life. I dreamt of being the best, and therefore it was the only way I could be happy.

Because the best is what I thought others wanted me to be, is what I thought I had to be.

In order to escape the need to succeed to feel good about what I was doing in life, I had to first redefine what success was; I had to find a new dream.

A dream for me, and for no one else.

I even wrote a post about some of my lessons in achieving success, and why it was important that no one defined that “success” except me.

In the post, I also said to find your version of success you simply have to try and start somewhere. And if you want to achieve that success, you have to keep trying.

What I didn’t talk about, however, is how I even got to the point of realizing that the only success worth achieving was my own version of it. Before I could really experience true success, I had to learn a hard lesson:

How others see success is not the way you should see success.

Instagram, Facebook, the News, your favorite TV show…all of these will try to create definitions for areas of your life, like your career, for you (if you let them). They’ll tell you what dreams you should have for your life, and which aren’t so..cool. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the life shown to us, the kind of life we think we should have based on what we see.

And sometimes, our plots in life try and dictate it for us directly. As a professional athlete, most people think that the only version of success that can exist for me is winning.

If I win, I succeed. If I lose, well…you know the word:

Fail.

Just because some guys play to win, doesn’t mean I have to.

Do I try to win? Yes. Do I need to in order to feel successful?

Not anymore.

Winning was never really in my control, and never will be.

Why would I hedge my success on something I have no control over?

Thankfully, that isn’t my life anymore. And it’s definitely not my version of success either. I don’t dream of success through winning. I now dream of success my way.

Because there’s only one life for me. A plan I’m meant for.

That must mean there’s really only one success for me too. Just for me.

So when I consider what success looks like, and what I need to do to achieve my dreams, it doesn’t really make sense to look at others’ definitions to find mine.

Because if only I’m meant for this life, then only I’m meant for the kind of success it entails.

To many, success is coming home to a family every night. To others, success is building a business empire. And for some, success is just getting up in the morning.

To each of us, success can and should look different.

Because when you’re constantly chasing someone else’s version of success, you’re only trying to live their life…and no matter how hard you may try or want to, you can’t.

You weren’t planned or meant for someone else’s path, and therefore you weren’t meant to end up wherever their path leads. You have your own, incredibly special and very important version of success; your own road to roam.

Every day you spend walking someone else’s road is one less day you’re following the one paved just for you.

The only other secret to success I know beyond keep trying, is that if you define it, than you can achieve it.

But if you let someone else define it for you? Well, then I can only wish you luck.

If you want to open the doors to a truly successful life, stop looking at other people’s hallways, thinking you can copy the key.

You only need one key to success, to your dreams…and you’ve been holding it this whole time.

I think the real question is:

Are you ready to use it?

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