Week 3 of 52 Week Challenge: Ramblings of a Lost Writer
Staring at my blank Hemingway Editor a rush of anxiety and doubt runs through my veins. This will be day number three where every ounce of creativity vanishes into thin air. Writing used to be so much fun. But now it feels like I’m trying to force something that isn’t there.
Could it be that my writing days have run their course and there is just nothing left for me to express? Have I put so much pressure on myself to produce something amazing that now I can’t even type out anything. I’m okay with mediocre, I’m okay with even typing up crap. I need to be able to write something.
A few weeks ago I started the 52 week challenge and I’m already struggling at week three! I even chose a topic that I thought would be easy to write about, my kid. But writing letters to her was even more stressful then writing fiction. How do you say the things you want to say to an 11 year old without causing them to get upset? It’s hard.
There are so many things I want to tell her and prepare her for in life, but the words are not flowing out. The only thing that does flow, swiftly might ad. Is the fact that I’m able to write paragraphs complaining about how I have nothing to write about. Those complaints flow in like a busted fire hydrant.
Last week I pulled out my old screenplays hoping to rekindle some more creativity but the curtains were closed. I’m still struggling to muster up a sentence every time I sit in front of the computer.
What happened to the girl who could spend an entire weekend writing scenes, premise lines and character arches? What happened to the girl who could get engrossed in writing that she could block out the real world by crafting her own?
There was an article I stumbled on last week about the sacrafices you have to make an entrepreneur. In the article they said you can only focus on 3 things that you want.
Work, Sleep, Fitness, Family or Friends. I’m struggling trying to work on all them at once. If I spend to much time to working I have less time to spend with my family. If I take some time to workout then I have to play catch up at work. Sleep, I don’t even remember what a good night sleep feels like.
If I had to pick three things today, it would be family, fitness and work. But that still doesn’t explain the lose of my writing voice.