How Yoga Taught Me How To Breathe

I think I decided to break up with my body when I was 13. Up until that time I’d been fairly happy with running around and playing games with the other kids. But one day I realised that my body was never gonna help me be the best at the only two things boys were supposed to be good at where I was from:

Football and Fighting.

So I decided, PE was for knuckleheads. I was an intellectual. I didn’t need my body. And I pretty much put it to bed for twenty years.

It never occurred to me that the reason I was feeling so lost and numb was that I only existed in my thoughts. My grounding had been cut, and as a result, I felt like I could be blown away in a breeze. Like I wasn’t part of this world.

It wasn’t until I started taking meditation more seriously, that I thought about Yoga. There was a local dynamic flow yoga class so I went along.

I seemed to be “good” at it, which I have to admit I liked, and that got me hooked. Over time I started to notice the strength I was building in my body. Strength not only in my muscles but in a connection between my mind and body. I began to feel present and grounded in space. Like I existed in reality again.

I love being in a flow state in Yoga, moving slowly and in sync with my breath through the air into each position, balancing in an infinite dance with space. I know I’m in the right place when I see psychedelic patterns on the floor.

But one of the most important things Yoga has taught me is the importance of breathing. I knew breathing was important before, i.e. if you stop doing it, it’s a good indicator that you should see a doctor, but before Yoga, if someone had told me to breathe in and out I would have pushed my chest out to inhale, and pushed my belly out to exhale. When I realised I was supposed to be doing it the opposite way around it blew my mind. By syncing my movements with breathing this way I am immediately grounded and my feelings come rushing back. Which is probably the reason I avoided it the best I could as a kid.

But now I know, that’s where I am.