You Are Not Broken

If I see one more post on Instagram or Facebook celebrating being “broken” in some way, I’ll delete all of my accounts.

Let me explain.

At some point, we’re all going to experience some sort of personal pain or heartache. Some more than others.

No one is immune.

We feel the pain, we endure it, and then we move past it. It’s how we grow THROUGH the pain that makes us better people.

But increasingly I’m seeing people refuse to let that pain go. They embrace the brokenness like it’s a state of being. Like it’s cool to be broken.

They’re bathing in it on social media to elicit sympathy and likes.

There is a real danger in believing you’re broken. It begins to seep into every aspect of your life, stunting growth and progress and relationships.

It causes you to accept people into your life that a confident you never would, because you believe that you don’t deserve better, that somehow you are “harder to love”. And you create a world and network that reinforces this crap.

I believed that for a while. And my relationships reflected that. At one point, I had a lot of debt, no career to speak of and I was desperate for someone to make me feel better. As you can guess, I settled for whomever would have me. What a mistake. It ended pretty badly and (thanks to believing I was broken), I thought it was my fault. Because I was unlovable.

It was only after I picked myself back up, started working, took care of myself, worked out, ate healthy — you know, all the things you do when you love yourself — that I met the man I’m with today. I loved myself enough to recognize what an incredible catch he was.

We take care of each other. We have each other’s backs. When there is pain, we love harder. We are a reflection of the other’s self worth. And we remind each other that self love is just as important as loving each other. We encourage each other to do the things we love — for ourselves — because we know it will strengthen us as a team.

During tough times, it’s tempting to believe you’re full of personal demons or damaged goods. That you’ll never find lasting love because there is something “wrong” with you.

And it’s easy to seek out social media or “love gurus” or self help sites that reinforce this falsehood.

You don’t need to be fixed. You just need to love yourself. As you are. Right now.

Commit to looking in the mirror and loving what you see unconditionally. Not after you lose the weight or you get the job or you patch things up with so and so or after you pay off that debt.

Then put that self love into action. Let every decision you make be one that betters your life. Believe that you will know what to do.

That’s when your life will change.

It’s a beautiful way to become accountable for your actions and your beliefs, and you don’t need anyone’s permission to do this. Just your own willingness to take a chance on yourself.

So please…kick that broken BS to the curb. Loosen your hold on that bag of pain and let it go.

Misery loves company but it’s time to ghost that fucker.