A Simple Way To Get Your Foot In The Door With Any Prospect

Fireside Post | Business Satire
Fireside Post
Published in
4 min readSep 7, 2018

Sales is incredibly hard work and the competition is everywhere. If you’re reading this article, you’re probably not having a very good month. Maybe you’re having over the phone jitters or you’re just getting all the shit prospects while your colleague Gary is getting the easy sellers. (side note: Gary never hits quota)

Regardless of the fact that Gary couldn’t sell water to a dying fish on land, you need to focus on yourself. When people talk about getting your foot in the door, they mention “cold calling,” and “networking,” and “selling your unique value proposition” (one author mentioned following a prospect to the bathroom during a trade show which is totally cool and normal).

But none of these tactics really shine a light on the actual “getting your foot in the door” with a prospect. So here at the Fireside Post, we give you 3 surefire tricks to get your literal foot in the door to help you better close the sale:

1. Buy A Pin Tumbler Lock Pick Set

In most cases, your prospect will usually have their doors locked. Typical hard to sell client. Most office/home doors will utilize a pin tumbler lock so what you’ll need is a Pin Tumbler Lock Pick Set. Most of them go for about $20 on Amazon or eBay — but the cost is worth the price of that prospect signing their initials on that sweet dotted line.

We attached the helpful diagram below and links to purchase this set to help you get started:

Best Place to Buy:

Buy here

2. Wear Sturdy Boots

In the rare scenario that your prospect will not want to let you into their office as you are trying to pick their lock, be sure to wear sturdy boots so you can keep that door pried open without hurting the rest of your body. We recommend the President | Brown boots pictured above since it has a beautiful cork-bed midsole as well as a full glove leather interior lining.

If we were going to get our foot in the door with any prospect, you wouldn’t dare catch us wearing sneakers. That’s a rookie move, Levene.

Best place to Buy:

https://thursdayboots.com/products/mens-brown-president

P.S. They don’t pay us, we just really like their boots.

3. Bring a Well-Written Apology

After busting the lock on the door and propping it open with your sturdy President Brown boots, you can finally get your foot in the door. However, your prospect may not be too happy with these methods of pursuit so be sure to bring a well-written apology just in case. This could be the difference between a closed deal and a lost prospect.

Back in the old days of sales, not closing the deal would be considered a great offense — bringing shame and dishonor to one’s sales team. The usual punishment for an atrocity like this is death by the old Japanese suicide ritual Seppuku where one tears open the outer lining of their stomach with a tanto sword (diagram below for reference).

Samurai Hitachi Performing Seppuku After Losing A High-Quality Prospect To His Co-Worker, Steve

Fortunately for you, we have evolved past this brutal form of judicial punishment in the sales world. Now, it’s customary to bow at the feet of your lost prospect in order to re-establish honor and to replenish your per diem.

Now that you have the tips and tools (hopefully you bought the lock pick set), go through that pile of prospects you have in your Rolodex and start hitting your quota. When you’re done, rub that shit in Gary’s face as you drive away in your new Pontiac GTO.

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