The Single College Mom’s Manifesto
What every young mother should know.
According to Zach Sumner, a guest author of The Art of Manliness, “A manifesto is defined as a declaration of one’s beliefs, opinions, motives, and intentions. It functions as both a statement of principles and a bold, sometimes rebellious call to action.” As a young college mom, I have been faced with several different obstacles, and along the way, I have composed a list of essentials for every young mother.
Life
When you find out you’re pregnant, don’t panic. The lump in your throat will dissolve, and the butterflies will soon dissipate.
When your parents express their disappointment, don’t lose hope. Remember that you are disappointed too.
Go ahead and forgive the baby’s father for leaving. It will save you a lot of grief down the road.
Do not apologize for not wanting an abortion. Stick to your morals.
When people whisper about your growing belly, don’t hide it. We never hide miracles.
Make time to live. Sometimes you have to leave that homework for tomorrow and let those dishes stay dirty, so you can tuck your daughter in at night.
When the time comes, tell your daughter about all the tears you shed in campus bathrooms and down lonely hallways. She’ll appreciate the river you created to guard her castle.
When you stay up all night to finish a paper, and your infant screams the sun out of its slumber, do not shatter. It will all be worth it in the end.
Turn off your phone occasionally.
Celebrate every milestone of your child’s life. They are only small once.
School
Stop comparing your life to the life of your peers. Your burdens do not compare.
When feeding the baby and homework are both urgent and of equal importance, remember your chin doubles as a third hand for a bottle.
When your three year old scribbles on your homework, turn it in anyways.
Your professor will request ridiculous things of you. Cook, clean, study, and watch the children simultaneously. You are superwoman.
Ignore the “Even though” that will sometimes follow a “Congratulations”. They are oblivious of the war you fought for your accomplishments.
Go above your own expectations. You are your worst critic.
Never Ever Ever settle for good enough. Your bar is now twice as high.
Get a planner. Use it for everything!
You will have a midlife crisis your first semester. Stay focused.
Love
It’s your fault if you let the same man walk in and out of your life.
You have probably matured a lot faster than the men in your classes. Date anyways.
Do not introduce every potential boyfriend to your child.
Have sex. Just be safe. You never agreed to be a nun after pregnancy.
Look into your child’s eyes after a stressful day and thank God for giving you a reason to endure.
Love your stretch marks and unsightly belly. When the girls at the campus pool make faces, flick them off. Your womb has written scripture.
Some guys won’t date you because you are a mom. Forget them.
Growing Up.
You can’t party like normal college students. You have someone waiting to hear a bedtime story. Sorry.
Your Kegel muscles will no longer be worth a damn, so be careful of how hard you sneeze.
You can’t drink and breastfeed. Pick one.
You are not required to find a father for your child. In due time, it will happen.
You probably cannot bring your toddler to the sorority meeting. They will not understand.
Do not let go of yourself while becoming a mother. Your dreams are the light at the end of the tunnel. Your child’s dreams are the fireflies lighting your way to the end.
