FLN Report: 2016 European GP
Welcome to the European power of Azerbaijan! Home of famous European cultural heritage sites like……Baku. The race was fine overall, the drivers enjoyed it as they were able to hit speeds of 220mph, but for the fans it was a bit of a snooze fest. The GP2 race before the F1 had about 100 collisions in the first lap so everyone expected to have at least one safety car during the race but it never came.
The race itself featured Nico Rosberg starting first and Daniel Ricciardo second who moved up after Sergio Perez who had qualified second took a 5 place grid penalty to start 7th. The Ferraris locked out the second row, followed by Massa and Kvyat, the other Williams lined up next to Checo, and young Max Verstappen and Lewis Hamilton finished up the top 10. The race start saw Nico take off and immediately gain a 2 mile lead, while the Red Bull of Ricciardo got overtaken by Ferrari and Sergio Perez without a problem….and that’s how it would stay for the remainder of the race up until the final lap. When Sergio Perez overtook Kimi for 3rd place while simultaneously putting the team on his back.
The true highlights of the race started when the pit stops started rolling in. Vettel questioned Ferrari’s strategy, then ultimately had to admit he was wrong when he found himself behind his teammate, until Kimi moved aside. Williams despite having the world’s quickest pit stops still managed to mess up their drivers. Red Bull couldn’t get its tires working and switched compounds about every three laps. Sauber was somewhere, maybe? I dunno. I didn’t see them. Renault was racing with Manors, MANORS. Speaking of Manor, Rio Haryanto outfinished Pascal Wehrlein. So Congrats to the nation of Indonesia.
Lewis Hamilton started a valiant charge up the field quickly dismissing the Red Bulls and Williams, then following Sergio Perez up the field until they were both 4th and 5th. As he readied himself to pounce on the Force India, warning lights started going off on his wheel and he wasn’t able to get the performance out of his spaceship he wanted. Hamilton panicked, asked on the radio time and time again for guidance while the engineers at the pitwall reiterated time and time again that they couldn’t answer. The Force India slipped away until Lewis was finally able to punch the Konami code and get on his way. He wasn’t the only having troubles though, Kimi was also fumbling with his wheel as his car came under attack by Force India. Which made all the pundits race this question “IS THIS BREED OF FORMULA 1 RACING TOO COMPLICATED” or “IS THIS GOOD FORMULA 1?!” or “DO YOU NEED A PHD TO DRIVE A FORMULA 1 CAR” to which I say…come on, these guys get paid a huge amount of money to drive a car, God FORBID they have to learn some boot up sequences. Get outta here. We here at First Lap Nutcase fully endorse the radio ban and frankly don’t believe it’s gone far enough. Team Radio should only be for TWO things. 1, “BOXBOXBOXBOX” 2, complaining about blue flags.
All things considered if not for this radio hubub this race would have been pretty uneventful. WELL DONE BAKU.
FLN Power Rankings
- HAROOOOO
- Cats on the track
- Mercedes Engine
- Grinding down the ol’ Sausage Kerbs
- Blaming the Sun for bad qualifying
- LeBron James
- Safety Car Blue Balls
- Pointing out that it’s not champagne being sprayed during the podium celebration
- Force India
- Toyota’s WEC program
