The polyglot diaries
Anecdotes from a life of speaking (or failing to speak) non-native languages
Speaking multiple languages is an easy sell. You get to understand people all over the world, read books and watch movies in their original language, and hey, did I mention it could get you a job? However, there is an important consequence of being multilingual that is seldom brought up in such conversations: it gives you the best stories.
These are just some of the anecdotes I’ve collected in the process of traveling, studying, and working.
- The day Spanish saved me from a fight
I was 16 and part of an exchange program in the small town of Fairmont, Minnesota. My friends and I were playing soccer on a public field, while the Latino Soccer League was playing on an adjacent field. One of us had the brilliant idea of switching to another field across the street. We started kicking the balls to the other side of the road, paying little attention to what was going on around us.
I got away from potentially getting beat up simply because I could speak another language.
As I kicked the last ball, a minivan drove in front of it. We heard a loud bang, and glass shattered on the ground. I had accidentally hit one of the minivan’s side mirrors. The car stopped; my heart did as well, for a second or two. Three big guys came out and started yelling at me.
“Mira lo que has hecho! No tiene respeto? Eres ciego? Estupido!”
One of them came closer to me and pushed me.
“You’re going to have to pay for this, gringo.”
I’m still frozen, scared. My friends have stepped back and left me to deal with this on my own. I started responding in English, but then I realize I might have a way out. I speak Spanish!
“Perdon, amigo, perdon. Yo soy brasileño, no tengo dinero para pagar, mis padres no viven conmigo aca,” I say.
I apologize and explain my situation. I offer to call my parents and have them wire me money from Brazil — where I’m from. And that’s when the tables turned.
“Eres brasileno? Hermano! No tienes problema, ya estaba asi.”
He is surprised I’m Brazilian, but sees that as a good thing. He explains that the mirror was already broken. They had just put the pieces of glass back together until they had money to fix it. They knew it was an accident and were going to let this one go.
In other words, I got away from potentially getting beat up simply because I could speak another language. He appreciated my effort and complimented the quality of my Spanish skills. Oh, and I forgot the best part: he invited me to join his team for the Latino League.
Turns out speaking other languages can save you from a dicey situation. Still — there was no way I was about to play soccer with them. What if they thought I sucked?
2. How Portuguese helped me make a friend during the loneliest time of my life
I’m not the type of person who frequently feels lonely. Being outgoing and talking a lot (too much?) helps, and I generally make friends pretty easily. However, in July of 2017, I was lonely in a deeper way than I had ever previously imagined.
That month, I flew to Macau to take part in a reporting fellowship. Although Macau was a touristy place, the vast majority of the tourists were mainland Chinese citizens who spoke either Mandarin or Cantonese. I don’t speak either. And while English is widely spoken in most tourist havens, this was hardly the case there. I’d walk the streets of Macau and see signs in English, but the only way to order food at most restaurants was to point at the menu items.
As my loneliness reached its peak, I set out to find one of the few remaining Portuguese speakers in the region.
That’s the downside of being a social person who relies a lot on human interaction. When you don’t have it, it makes you miserable. I love being by myself and reflecting, but spending several weeks in a place where I could literally not communicate with 99 percent of the people there was extremely challenging. It was the Portuguese language that pulled me out of that dark hole of loneliness and isolation.
Macau had been a Portuguese colony for centuries. The attempt to revive Portuguese culture and language was the main reason I was there, after all. It was the topic of my fellowship project, and I ended up giving a TEDx Talk on that subject. So as my loneliness reached its peak, I set out to find one of the few remaining Portuguese speakers in the region.
I went to Portuguese restaurants, only to find out that the owners were descendants of Portuguese speakers, but didn’t speak the language themselves. My experience was the same at stores, museums, and popular sightseeing stops. And then I found a fellow Portuguese speaker in the least expected of places: beside a poker table.
Disclaimer: I’m a big-time poker player. When I travel, I make it a point to try to experience the local poker scene. Macau is considered the Las Vegas of Asia (it actually brings in seven times as much revenue from gambling!), so I wasn’t about to miss out. After winning a big hand at a random table, I celebrated by saying something in Portuguese, and I registered a look of surprise from one of the other players.
“Você é de Portugal ou do Brasil?” he asked, wondering about my country of origin. I was just as shocked as him. For the next week or so, he was my tour guide, translator, and, most importantly, my only friend there. We shared meals, drinks, and experiences. I was lonely no more.
3. When winging my French taught me I should study more
I was working for CBS News in New York City, and was, by far, the youngest person in my department. I needed to prove myself, so I would raise my hand whenever they asked if anyone in the newsroom spoke French. I told them I had Belgian citizenship (I was born and raised in Brazil, but my mom’s side of the family is from Belgium) and could do whatever they asked.
And so I winged it.
While it’s true that I am a Belgian citizen, I should’ve said that I spoke some French. In my defense, I still spoke more French than anyone else in the building, but asking for directions and conducting professional interviews are two very, very different things.
And so I winged it. I looked up all the words I didn’t know and asked people to repeat their answers over and over again until it was clear we were on the same page. I struggled, but I managed to get the work done.
This experience taught me two things: a) Don’t overstate your skills, and b) STUDY MORE FRENCH, BRUNO!
It’s pretty embarrassing to say you have Belgian citizenship and don’t speak French (nor Flemish, the other official language of Belgium). Since then, though, I’ve been doing my best to learn more and use different tools — including Babbel — to make sure I never have to exaggerate my language skills again.
Being a polyglot, as you can tell, has been a source of relief, salvation, and even stress. It has made me see the world from alternative perspectives and empathize with people from every walk of life. I cannot imagine a life without that. You don’t have to either.
If you enjoyed this story, send us some love with claps and recommendations!
Inspired by Bruno’s adventures? Choose a language and start learning today.
