You Really Don’t Know Until You Try
I joined the Coast Guard as a reservist a long time ago. I had never talked about joining the Coast Guard, or the military in general. It seemed as though I just woke up one day and decided that was the thing to do. I imagine this came as a shock to my family at the time.
The feedback I received, upon announcing I was joining the Coast Guard reserves, included a lot of negativity. A lot. I have a wonderful, genuine family that never made me feel unloved. However, the responses I received upon my announcement, were more from a place of anxiety that greatly made me doubt myself, than their love for me.
While going through the recruitment process, I decided to write a list of the different feedback I was getting, so one day I could look back and see how far I’d come. Here is the list:
One family member kept reading the Air Force Times and worried that I’d only get $40 for drill, boot camp would be too difficult for me to pass, I couldn’t do any push ups, I wouldn’t make enough to cover my mortgage and that I’d lose the house. That’s four or five points of negativity from one well meaning person.
Another person worried I would have to move, or that I wouldn’t make it to basic training safely on the plane. That was great to hear, considering how nervous I was to be taking my first plane trip.
My most anxious family member said I was making the biggest mistake of my life, I would have to move because there’s no Coast Guard boats in my hometown, I don’t belong in the military, I’m not athletic, my spouse and I would split up because I would be gone too much, and that I would get raped. When I told her I wanted to do either medical or engineering, she told me I wasn’t good enough at math to be a mechanic, and that I should just go to nursing school instead. She also questioned why I would even join if I was going to continue working anyways.
Another family member told me if I became a mechanic, I’d never see the light of day, and to defend myself with a big wrench if anyone tried to rape me.
I almost didn’t enlist.
At the time, I was working at a facility with retired military officers. They gave me encouragement, of course. They told me they were proud of my decision, that I could do anything I put my mind to, that it was the right choice, and that Tricare was amazing. One of my friends told me it would be good for me to do something alone. Yet I still questioned my decision.
I wanted to do something in my life that was meaningful, provided good benefits, and would give my life a little excitement. That’s why I wanted to join the reserves. Finally, I spoke to one of the retired Colonels, and decided to just keep going. I continued with the recruitment process, and kept exercising. I memorized my general orders. I kept preparing.
In my mind, I told myself that I would give this a try, and if I failed then at least I could say I tried. I am so glad I didn’t give up.
I finished basic training in the time period I was supposed to. I struggled with the push ups, I had to take remedial swim, I had to do physical therapy for shin splints, and I had to have all four wisdom teeth removed. Basic training was difficult, but I made it.
No one ever told me I couldn’t do something I wanted to do after that.
The Coast Guard reserves has been more of a benefit to my life than I ever imagined it would be when I joined. I have gained a family. I have gained new skills, and 10 lbs of muscle. I have been forced out of my comfort zone and it’s been Just Fine. My Tricare has allowed me to change jobs whenever I want without losing coverage or having to change doctors. Other than the 400 mile round trip drive to drill every month, I have generally enjoyed and looked forward to my drill weekends. I’ve never had to wonder what could be because I tried, despite what others told me.
Do I still struggle with self doubt and lack of confidence? Sure, sometimes. But it doesn’t matter. I enlisted as a mechanic, despite what anyone thought. I then had the confidence to become an EMT, so I ended up learning both skills that I wanted to.
Don’t be afraid of failure. Failure often means you tried. If you try something new, you just might surprise yourself sometimes!
I do not publish my posts behind a “paywall,” so read as much as you like.
