The 7 Step Formula for Real Change
Or…
“How Your Mind Is Determined to Undermine Your Best Efforts”
A few weeks back I created a 28 day “back to basics” body, mind and life reboot for myself. With summer over and the kids back in school it was time to reclaim my leaner body, my energy, my time…
After 30 years of living, teaching, talking, writing and studying fitness and lifestyle I know what works. And really, it’s nothing fancy. It has no catchy viral name. You won’t find this “special method” in any best-selling diet or fitness books.
Why? Because the basic, boring, reality of some simple things repeated with ritualistic precision isn’t exciting. It isn’t sexy and it involves the one thing that the most popular “get fit” promises manage to avoid telling you: You have to do the work.
I’m not talking about particularly hard work or epic suffering. I am talking about the most challenging aspect of true and lasting change for people though… doing that simple, basic thing today. Tomorrow. And the next day.
Doing the simple things until the doing of them becomes your way of being.
Yes. This, my friend, is how you tap into the true code of change.
Currently, you have a default operating system. A set of behaviors that has consistently, for some time, produced a series of results that — if you are like most of us — you know are less optimal than your best.
Assuming you and I agree that all significant results in life (aside from the random “act of God” like being hit by lightning or winning the lottery) are the result of small things being repeated daily, then we can also agree that the big results we desire in life are being created by the small things you are doing now. Today.
Thus, change is all about getting inside that automatic operating system, the series of small decisions being made, mostly without you even knowing it, at tweaking them.
Seems easy. Right? Okay, you say to yourself, I will eat better today.
Maybe you do. Maybe you don’t. Half way through the day you’ve forgotten all about that intention.
You say to yourself, “Okay, I will start journaling gratitude every morning.” (Never mind the bigger goal of having grateful thoughts all day.)
Day one you journal. Boom! Easy.
Day three, you short change it a little.
Day four your forget and admonish yourself.
Day five your story changes. The mind, being more reluctant to change then even you can imagine, crafts a story. Likely a few of them.
The stories include things like:
- This shit is a waste of time.
- I’m smarter than this.
- I have real important things to do.
- I’ll just think good things.
- Oh, hell, I am always grateful… I’m good.
Come on. Tell the truth. You’ve heard one or more of those voices. Right?
You see what is happening here, don’t you? Your tricky mind is running the show. It’s going to steer you right back into the groove it’s been tracking for years.
Like some sort of foam rubber chew toy, it wants to return to its original shape.
I heard an interview with Jason Isbell that @LanceArmstrong did the other day. He was talking about when he quit drinking and how his mind would run rackets to convince him that all these lies were true so it could have that next drink.
Actually, this is a common conversation in recovery. Coming to accept and recognize that the mind, which you have depended upon as your ally and source of all judgement, is not actually operating in your best interest.
Seeing this, your mind, as an ally but not a master, requires you become less a servant and more a witness. That you see the thoughts, hear the thinking, allow it to be and still take the small actions you have set forth as your guide. You keep your commitments.
You see, that is the secret and the trick. Set a commitment. However small. Set it in times of clarity and confidence. And then keep that commitment no matter. No matter how convincing the stories that arise are. No matter how busy you think you just became.
Not only is this the beginning of your freedom it is also a source of epic confidence. Entrepreneur coach, Dan Sullivan, teaches in one of his many course, how leaders can “always increase your confidence.”
Perhaps there is no pillar of support more vital to your confidence than keeping your word to yourself on small things.
Want to create change? Want to renew confidence?
Here is the formula…
- Adopt a set of simple, achievable daily practices
- Set a goal (container) for maintaining them
- Challenge yourself publicly with those close enough to support and hold your accountable.
- Uphold your commitment to your daily rituals without fail. Act as if they are the most important things in your day, for they are.
- When you slip, acknowledge it and immediately get back on track without public floggings.
- Remain witness to the stories your mind will concoct to undermine you, like “the dog ate my freedom” and such. Listen to your commitments not it’s excuses.
- Celebrate your success. Enjoy the confidence. Feel the waves of change.
Change is, after all, as the late great Arnold Palmer said about golf,
“…deceptively simple and endlessly complicated.”
