30 Thoughts that go through my head on a daily basis

“Fuck, why is no one up to anything interesting?” — Me, while on Snapchat.

“I have to do that thing I have been putting off for about a month…” — Me, while putting off that thing yet again.

“This makes me look fat” — Me, while looking in the mirror wearing something that doesn’t make me look fat.

“He’s cute” — ME, ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

“I hate men” — Me, while thinking about the patriarchy.

“Is this problematic?” — Me, while thinking something that is definitely problematic.

“Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh” — Multiply this by at least 20.

“Why does no one talk to me anymore?” — Me, pouting.

“OH GOD STOP TALKING TO ME GODAMNIT” — Me, not answering texts.

“I should be writing…shouldn’t I?” — Me, scrolling through twitter.

“I’m fucking hilarious” — Me, while not being hilarious at all.

“Oh god I bet they’re younger than me” — Me, while rolling my eyes at more succesful people than me.

“Does my hair smell?” — No, it doesn’t.

“Oh god that was awkward…” — Me, at every human interaction ever.

“COFFEE. CARBS.CHEESE” — Me, probably 9 hours a day.

“What would happen if like, I just jumped out the window?” — Me, too often to be actually concerned anymore.

“Lol. Nope” — Me, at everything that involves moving.

“WHY AM I SO TIRED?” — Me, knowing exactly why I’m tired.

“Does this make me look fat?” Me, while wearing something that probably makes me look fat.

“WHY CAN’T I BE AMY POEHLER OR LISA FRANK, IS SHE DEAD? AGH” — Me, while working on something I don’t want to do.

“Would my parents be dissapointed if I became a housewife?” — Me, while working on something I don’t want to do.

“Oh wow, I’m a mess” — Me, while not being a mess but being a drama queen.

“No one cares that you’re getting married…” — Me, on facebook while deep down kinda caring that they’re getting married even if I don’t even want to get married.

“Fuck this” — Me, while shutting down stupid comments.

“I definitely should be doing something more important than this” — Me, while binge watching Gilmore Girls and not getting up.

“Capitalism sucks” — Me, on a mac probably buying stuff online.

“What would Freud do?” — Me, stalking someone.

“What would Lorelai Gilmore do?” — Me, while secretly thinking what would Emily Gilmore do.

“*Sex*” — Me, a good 5 hours of my day.

“I definitely have important shit to do…” — Me, while writing this post.

Bonus:

“What would RuPaul think of this makeup?” — Me, everyday while beating my face to the gods (while secretly thinking Michelle would hate it).