Bourbon is a Vegetable

Day 28 of My Personal Challenge to Write a Poem Each Day in April
in Honor of National Poetry Month

Corn is yellow,
Or sometimes white,
Grows on tall stalks
In long rows
In a field
In the hot sun.
Used in bread, muffins,
Tortillas, and chips,
Or a Southern pudding
That is truly disgusting,
You can eat it on an ear —
Appetizing, right? —
Or in little pieces,
Tough and tasteless,
Or air inflated —
All golden nuggets
That stick between teeth,
Causing hopeless
Flossing marathons.

Sometimes in salad,
Or gasoline, plastics,
Baby diapers and matches,
Yes, to the last four
And there are more —
How about Windex —
Eat and clean your teeth
At the same time!
Or, cosmetics —
Be beautiful and
Eat your veggies.
Corn is a chameleon
Hiding in everything,
Unworthy of digestion,
But healthy for some
Reason unbeknownst to me.

I am a vegetarian —
I get my RDA of
That yellow menance
From the only
Worthy source —
Bourbon.
Therefore,
Bourbon is
A vegetable.