Challenging assumptions
I recently had the privilege of participating in a course on resilience, an important life skill for the modern age. This course provided me with some great insights on how to boost my resilience and I came away with a toolkit of techniques to apply. As someone who started their career as an Engineer, I have learned that if you don’t use your tools on a daily basis, they can become rusty and forgotten, so having attended this course, I am determined to apply the tools on a daily basis, as suitable situations arise.
One technique that I found particularly useful is ‘Challenge it, Check it, Change it’. The purpose of this is to make us pause our thoughts so we don’t run off down the usual track of assumptions, leading to a conclusion that could be wrong and / or energy depleting.
Are your assumptions the elephant in the room, how often do you pause and challenge yourself?
Recently I found myself stuck in traffic and learned a lesson in humility while missing an opportunity to practice this technique!
I was in a place where, due to roadworks, two lanes of traffic need to merge into one — I’m sure you’re all familiar with this and the associated frustrations that arise due to our fellow road users, after all it’s always them and never us! Anyway, this time, I was aiming for a gap to merge into as I was in the merging lane, only to notice that the car next to me was gently edging forward and keeping pace with me. Straight away I made the assumption that the driver was trying to block me out and I started to get a little bit irritated….
Well, maybe not quite that much, but a little! Slowly I continued to edge forward as traffic moved, only for the car next to me to do the same…
Suddenly, as we got closer to the pinch point, the driver next to me became aware of my presence, stopped completely, looked over at me with a great big smile on her face and waved me forward to go in front of her. After a moment’s hesitation, I thanked her with a returned smile and a wave, and pulled forward, mentally kicking myself for not stopping to challenge my negative assumptions. This little lesson in humility has made me reflect on the negative conclusions that I often jump to in similar situations and now that I am conscious of this behaviour, I am experimenting with taking a more positive, open view. In the short space of time that I have practiced, it has certainly made me feel calmer and less stressed behind the wheel!
What assumptions are you making on a daily basis and what are you doing to challenge them?
If you find yourself in the habit of regularly jumping to conclusions and making assumptions, why not practice this simple technique and see how challenging, checking and changing your assumptions can make a positive difference to how you feel? You may be pleasantly surprised.
