Easy 3-minute stress buster
And, yes, you do have time to do it
My life is pretty chill these days. I have a long to-do list, but it’s mostly stuff I want to do. I have some disappointments, sadnesses, a few worries, but nothing major. Nothing that would cause terrible stress.
Yeah, I’m lucky and I know it.
But I know stress makes a lot of people miserable and kills a few. I haven’t always been this even-keeled. There have been times in my life when I thought muscle tension in my neck would break bones. When I thought my shoulders would snap like iron bands. When the brain buzz and whirl would absolutely not let me sleep so that on top of the miserable things I had to deal with, I was exhausted.
Things changed (as they always do). Things got better (as they often do). And I learned a few things about dealing with stress.
“Just relax” is probably the worst advice I got. “I’m relaxing as hard as I can” is the only possible answer and all that got me was a look of pity.
These days, my go-to stress reliever is mindfulness meditation. If you’ve heard of it (or not) but really don’t know what it is, I have a link to a tutorial below.
Essentially, it means I stop whatever I’m doing and for a few seconds (or longer) and turn my attention to my breath. What I’m trying to do is let my thoughts go for a moment and just pay attention to my breath.
Stress is not caused by a bad boss and a flat tire. It’s caused by your thoughts about those things. Changing your thoughts and ideas about those things isn’t easy and I’m not asking you to do it. A bad boss is like a constant low-level pain. Yes, you can redirect your attention from it and live with it but it wears you down. Eventually, you have to do something about it.
Your Breath
But meanwhile, turn your attention to your breath and rest there for a little while. Thoughts will intrude. Brains think. It’s what they do. Thank your brain for doing its job and let the thoughts go. Return to your breath. Those thoughts are about things that are frightening, annoying, things you are worried about or angry about. Those are important thoughts and will require action. Later. For now, return to your breath and let the thoughts go for a moment.
Your Body
Then, starting with your feet (wiggle your toes so you can find your feet), check for tension, and make a conscious effort to relax those feet muscles. Then move up your legs, calves, thighs. Try to relax those muscles. Then your belly, your back, your shoulders. Your shoulders are probably a hot spot. You may have to work a while to relax those muscles. Take a minute or two to work on it. Then slowly move your attention down your arms, relaxing muscles as you go. Now turn your attention to your neck. This is also likely a hot spot. Take some time there to relax your neck muscles. Then move up over your head and down to your face. Relax your expression.
Then return to your breath for a little while. Just breathe and nothing else.
Your mind
Don’t believe everything you think. Your boss may be a jackass, but that person is also a complex suite of drives, needs, and desires and in a way is simply a suffering human being. That person may be toxic enough that you need to get away from them. You are not obliged to fix another person. If kindness doesn’t help then distance is the solution.
You also need to examine your thoughts and not believe them when you are exaggerating (worst day ever!), reading people’s minds (they think that! I just know it!) or trying to foretell the future (everything is going to be horrible!). This may be the most horrible day in your life or it may be only the most horrible that you have experienced YET. You may be right about what those people think or how all this turns out, but breaking up your stress right now is more important than those ephemeral ideas.
You have a lifetime of habits built up where you chew over worries, problems, and potential threats, it’s going to take more than 3 minutes to overcome those habits.
Take a moment to lay those thoughts down, just for now. You can pick them up again later. Taking that moment to focus on your breath will make a difference. It will be a step in the right direction. Then take two more minutes to consciously let your body relax piece by piece.
It’s three minutes. You’ve got it to invest and your investment may pay off in an hour of peace. And maybe a nice night’s sleep.
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