Fictional Characters Vs Real Life
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told of a new television show that I just gotta watch. The dialogue often begins with an assumption that I’m already watching. My reply is often met with dismay, if not disappointment.
I’m sure everyone has had this same experience. Maybe you are that person trying to get other people to watch a show that you really like. I’ve been guilty of this.
Our excitement is like the frenzy of the Super Bowl, the latest IPhone release or a kid at Christmas. We post comments on social media, participate in online forum discussions, and banter with our family, friends and coworkers. Journalists provide their analysis and we read along as if together we can solve a great mystery. We go out of our way to avoid spoiler alerts. The DVR is full of our top shows so that our lives aren’t interrupted too much.
Willingly, we hop on an emotional roller coaster — following the highs and lows of each episode. When something terrible happens to our favorite character, we are befuddled, devastated and angry. Even with absurd plot lines, extreme violence and gratuitous sex — we can’t stop watching.Once a season ends, we can’t wait for the next to begin. When a series ends, it feels as if a good friend has moved to the other side of the world.
It is tantalizing — to be entertained in this way. Maybe it has to do with our need for belonging, a space where there is some commonality in which to relate. It provides needed relief from ordinary lives. We can go on a mental and emotional adventure without risk. Pushing all of the psychobabble aside… entertainment just feels good.
But sometimes I wonder, when it comes to our engagement in these fictional worlds — what does this reveal about our real life story? Simply, we may feel as if our real lives lack excitement. More complexly, it could reveal the depth of our longing for a meaningful life.
As much as life imitates art and art imitates life — fictional worlds and real life are incompatible. I think we know that the main characters of our favorite, even award-winning shows cannot function in real life. Most are law-breaking, murderous or plagued with a chronic mental disorder. A real, functional life requires routine. There are things we must do for stability like going to work, paying bills, laundry, and shopping for groceries. It’s not glamorous or entertaining. Often, it’s repetitive and boring.
Still, we may feel compelled to live out our lives similar to what we see on TV. One can look to social media as the most compelling example. Rarely is it used to capture the normality of life. Why bother posting a picture unless we are on an adventure, being honored, made a major purchase, or have physically reinvented ourselves? This extends into the presentation of our loved ones who are always (and suspiciously) high achieving, beautiful, compassionate, brilliant and the most loving.
It doesn’t help that we have a warped view of progress and success which is measured by action and activity. Not only that, but progress and success is comparative — we are taught to be better than our peers and even ourselves (you’re only as good as your last hit). A meaningful life has to be more than running from one activity to the next, achieving the next big thing and running a personal PR campaign.
I’ve been reading Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving. In it, he discusses how we define activity in the modern world. He describes our view of activity as action to bring about a change in an existing situation and the expenditure of energy. Fromm also says:
On the other hand, a man sitting quiet and contemplating, with no purpose or aim except that of experiencing himself and his oneness with the world, is considered to be “passive” because he is not “doing” anything. In reality, this attitude of concentrated meditation is the highest activity there is, an activity of the soul, which is possible only under the condition of inner freedom and independence.
I love the idea of investing in the activity of the soul. The activity of one’s soul is a reflection of what we consistently do and how we engage our time. It could be that our souls are longing for nourishment which is needed to produce a meaningful life. Instead, we attempt to answer this longing with an over-consumption of entertainment and anything that is external to us. In the end, our souls are no more nourished than our bodies after eating a super-sized meal from a fast food restaurant.
I’m not an old stick in the mud. I believe that we need entertainment. I struggle with finding balance when it comes to the amount of media in my life. It’s difficult to be a part of the social media world — to use it without falling prey to it. Recently, I discovered the TV series Dynasty on Hulu. I vaguely remembered the show as I was 13 years old when the series began. Out of curiosity (and because Satan is so very busy), I looked at the first episode. Now, I’m into the second season wondering what Alexis is plotting next. It’s easy to get sucked into the many forms of entertainment that is readily available to us.
At the same time, I can tell when I’ve had too much media. It’s no different then that sluggish, disgusting feeling I have after eating a meal that is too rich (too much fat, sugar, salt). In the beginning it is delicious. Once it is consumed and my body has to digest it — I’m miserable. In the same way, our souls are processing everything that we experience by way of entertainment.
Our souls need to be cleansed just as we cleanse our bodies. We can change what we consume or reduce what we consume — often a combination of both.
A little over a month ago I began walking in my neighborhood most days of the week for about an hour. I walked without listening to a podcast, music, or talking on the phone. I just soaked up the natural environment around me. It is a way to purge and renew my soul. I’ve written before about walking as a meditative practice.
If we are going to engage in fictional worlds it can’t be at the expense of real life. It takes inner freedom and independence to be selective about what we consume by way of entertainment and to know when we need to step away from it. Then, we can respond to the hunger of our souls and live out a real and meaningful life.
