Being “Fearless” isn’t Enough
Only Fearless
The audience was roaring in anticipatory excitement after the first 3 minutes went without incident, and to my surprise they were loving our performance.
Digging my right toe straight down, behind the left ankle, and shifting weight into the heel of my left foot, I pivoted around from a spin move. My back was to the audience finally, and a bomb was going off in my lungs. So erratically short yet heavy was my breathing.
I didn’t know it at the time, but I was having a panic attack.
Doing everything in my power to stop from throwing up, I plowed through the performance with a shaky smile, pale when facing the audience, and made it to the end. Hollering and whooping support erupted from hundreds of students in our high school auditorium upon the finish as the music faded.
I scuttled into the wings and backstage, where I could cool the nuke reactor melting down in my lungs, heart, and stomach. My partner and I did it — but not without me feeling seriously ill and severely struggling through. I did not feel confident in my performance. The audience and my partner couldn’t tell from the distance and lighting, but I was visibly shaking when performing the entire time.
To my shock, one hour later we were announced as the category and final winners of our annual talent show. I was an early sophomore and that win changed the direction my life would take.
Yet what always stood out to me about that experience outside of the win, was the traumatic fear I was having, and how my performance was suffering from its unavoidable physical symptoms.
Even though I was being fearless— my performance was at risk from needing to “be” fearless. Later on after many experiences, I learned the powerful difference between being fearless, and having NO fear.
Fearless vs No Fear
Sometimes I feel like I hold myself back because of the unknown and paralyzing aspects of fear, when in reality, it isn’t just the belief that anyone can accomplish anything. It’s the belief, combined with the commitment to banish it.
We all strive for that, evident in our constant voracity for personal development content. Believe it or not, we can become not just fearless but without fear. No matter how pitiful a coward, procrastinator, or non-doing ninny we may be at present.
There are many ways to approach the elimination of the personal, deeply-rooted fear that’s been interfering us life. Desensitization, re-framing, anchoring, positive self-talk, or other forms of self-confidence training all exist and have variable outcomes.
The best type of confidence is a natural one that flows innately from simply knowing what the hell you’re doing.
That same kind you utilize when hopping onto a bicycle, tying your shoes, or as the cliche goes — “like breathing”. Involuntary. Knowing how to do it so deeply that you have zero opportunity to overthink or doubt.
The best method to create this innate confidence is to fill your mind so deep with knowledge that fear can’t fit. By finding or creating institutions that foster every anchor to conquering fear, it leaves no trail for fear to follow. Communities, your environment, and daily practices have been proven to provide these anchors. Sacrifice these, and you run even a small risk of failure in moving beyond just“being” fearless. Commit to finding or creating institutions that contain these, and it will happen.
The military can take a bunch of pimple-faced kids fresh out of high school and turn them into competent, battle-ready soldiers in just a few short weeks. They come in fearful and uncertain and come out confident. With no room for fear, they are forced into situations where they discover deep reservoirs of inner strength that they didn’t know they possessed.
Crossfit provides similar aspects that give struggling solo gym-goers the institution they need to meet their goals.
The most important thing we can ask ourselves starts with:
How can I institutionalize myself today and become without fear doing (fill in your goal)?
Our Potential to be Without Fear
My personal institution became my major after the strong symptoms of fear on that high school stage. I chose to study theatre academically and joined a talent agency to dance at shows and events. Surrounding myself with like-minded performers, teachers, and the environment to improve my skills without fear, the foundation of confidence built while fear dissolved. I similarly institutionalized myself to remove my fear associated with strength training, adventuring the world solo, quitting my job, and writing.
The truly sad thing about fear is that we contain the potential to exhibit a lot more personal power than we think, but the fear blocks our discovery of it.
This continues to preserve its lofty status as unchallenged manipulator of all our behaviors.
If we can somehow get beyond these paralyzing aspects of fear whole new worlds will open to us. Acceleration in our growth as individuals can be turned loose to develop an unstoppable momentum all its own. We can become battle-ready to perform extraordinary tasks unleashing this anti-coward energy.
Commitment to an institution containing communities, an environment, and daily practices aligning with facing your personal fear, gives us the power to sprint deep past fearless, and discover a place with no fear.
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