How to Ask for an Email Intro: The Smart Way

With communications technology constantly progressing, it’s no surprise that reach and accessibility of people around the world is at an all-time high. Both a blessing and curse (my cell going off in a silent and crowded movie theatre is the dark side of this), the new norm of connecting with people intentionally and aggressively is a reality of anyone competing to succeed. In today’s world, you will source networks to find quality people to connect with in plenty of areas of life — finding a job, finding a product/service you need, creating anything, selling anything, the list goes on and on. Puh-lenty of reasons here.

Want to connect with that life changing, opportunity of a lifetime giving, inaccessible big fish contact that could alter the trajectory of your universe? Well - get a referral! By first order, this means an introduction from a friend.

Many industry studies and collective common knowledge consistently reinforce that referrals are most effective in making connections in various arenas. Cold emails, cold calls, even blind dates are a natural part of outreach, but getting a referral or introduction is much more effective. This knowledge is repeatedly shared online and exists everywhere on the web, but they require a quick review since they’re so gal-darn important for your success:

• It expands your personal and professional network
• It brings you out of your comfort zone
• It can increase your social influence
• It can increase your salary
• It can make you happier

This list could continue on and create a boundless infinite scroll, so let’s move on to the important part — how to source and ask for these email introductions.

Proofing the Outreach for Success

First, always keep in mind the relationship of the person to you and equally, the relationship between your connector and the person you want to meet. It can be very frustrating when people reach out to me and I barely know them, yet they are asking me for connections and favors. Would you risk your reputation on someone you do not know? Or how about someone you know personally but not professionally, and they want you to vouch for their work ethic to a peer in your industry? These contexts are crucial and matter to your connector.

Similarly, do your home work and try to get as much information as you can on the relationship or history between your connector and desired contact. This can give you an advantage in reaching out. An example: your contact is a former colleague and you understand that your desired contact is a former mentor of theirs. You would frame your request for an intro more confidently, knowing that their contact is willing to support introductions. Alternatively, when you don’t know this, it’s a great idea to use this language provided by LifeLong-Learner.com:

“Not sure how well you’re connected to [CONTACT], but if the relationship is strong, I’d really appreciate an intro to chat about ways to work with [YOUR GOAL].”

The key here is research, and using context as much as possible so you make your requests thoughtful and considerate.

Encourage the Opt-In

Many connectors are not aware of the great courtesy provided by getting their contact’s permission before exposing their contact information to you. Before pushing your BFF or close buddy at work to shove your introduction request down the throat of an important contact for you in their network, don’t let them put a giant hole in that boat before it leaves shore. Encourage them to seek approval from the contact to meet you by sending a short message along that they can send the contact, asking for permission to be introduced to you. An example of a punchy, quick ask to be included with your request:

“If you’re comfortable connecting us, please send the message below and ask [CONTACT] if it’s ok to introduce us before making the connection”

This is crucial, and makes sure that potential connections don’t fail because the recipient of an intro request feels uncomfortable that they were shoved into a connection they didn’t approve. Get your connector to seek an opt-in from your desired contact before they sabotage your potential connection.

Keep it Short, Sweet, and Sincere

For the actual message, remember that your connector probably does not have immediate value to gain from connecting you two, as opposed to the direct value you will get from your desired introduction. With this in mind, consider their time, be courteous and kind, and most of all honest and authentic. Be sure to:

• Illustrate the intention upfront, meaning the first two sentences get right to the point of the email.

EXAMPLE: “You mentioned the other night you had a friend in the industry who knew about xxx. I’m looking to get a connection to him for XYZ…”

• Same point is also true for the subject line.

EXAMPLE: “SUBJECT: Looking for connection to [CONTACT]”

• Be clear and direct about the ask or purpose of the connection

EXAMPLE: “Your friend [CONTACT] would be a great resource in helping me learn more about X and potentially secure future meetings for our project…”

• Be considerate of timing, your connector’s work load, and other constraints or requirements they may have about distributing your request
• The message should be professional, but authentic and human, not robotic and long-winded.

Using the quick tips above will secure your success in gaining valuable connections via email, and also ensure your connector is primed for you to reach out again should you need the help.

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