If you want to be my friend, you need to give a sh*t.

I’m breaking up with people I’m not even dating.

She came out of nowhere.

I was talking to myself, of course, when I turned my head and heard someone yell my name. She hugged me, clearly excited. I couldn’t help but wonder where that excitement had been the past few months. Why I’d reach out and get no response. Or hear that she’s too busy when, girl, I know you weren’t doing anything important.

The biggest shock, though, was when she told me she was moving in only a few weeks.

And if I hadn’t run into her, I would’ve never known.

There’s a point where you just hit a wall with people. You see their patterns. The way they treat you time and time again. And I guess I let that behavior go on for years. They go through the same pattern of giving minimal effort, but you show up for them anyway.

When I look back, I’ve allowed too many people to use me out of convenience. I wait for them to come around and think that just because I listen to them, drive them around or help them that they would do the same for me.

I’m learning that it doesn’t happen like this.

Many friendships are not mutually beneficial. And I don’t necessarily think they have to be a 50/50 split, but they do have to offer something. There must be some balance. There must be effort.

I think we forget this because friendships are not romantic. We demand more out of a life partner, but we’ll get used by a friend like it’s nothing.

I’ve made enough excuses for people to fill a novel. I give too many chances. And as I weed through the inconsistent people, I find more consistent ones.

It just turns out the consistent ones are a bit harder to find.