I HAD NOTHING TO DO FOR 5 MONTHS.

IT WAS HORRIBLE.

Just like most people these days, I spend a huge chunk of my days scrolling through instagram, out of pure boredom. One time I stumbled upon this one video of a cat, in a cage. I’m not gonna talk about the cat here, because let’s just say I’m not big on pets. Rather, I realized something after staring at that video for a generous minute, it’s left in a cage. Maybe it’s not always that the owner cages the cat, but still. It seems so lonely in there. So alone. I then took this realization into the bigger picture. Human life. My oh-so-lonely, pointless life.

I’ve always felt so trapped in school. I HATED school. I felt like it was absolutely useless. But I have no rights to say that now considering I have (thankfully) finished high school and I’m currently waiting for my foundation program (uni prep!) to start. I’m studying abroad! Exciting, I know. The only way my parents would let me move to a new place. Hehe.

I’ve been school-less for around 5 months now. And it’s safe to say that I know for a fact that it’s not school that’s making us feel trapped. I’ve been staying home, with all the time in the world, with zero responsibility, yet I cannot wait to start having routines again, for school to start again. It’s weird to think that I’ve always yearned for this. I’ve always though that school prevented me from making the most out of myself. Turns out I was horribly wrong. It was never about school. It was never about not having the time to do things.

My parents are one of those ‘cool (and relatively chill)’ parents who supports my passions and hobbies since day one. When I was obsessed with watching cooking videos, they bought me cook books and let me spend money on buying ingredients for me to try out my new ‘recipes’. When I was obsessed with makeup tutorials they let me shop for makeup. One time they got me a high end concealer (keep in mind I was 8 and had no idea what a concealer was). When I was obsessed with musical theater they took me to NYC and got me tickets to 5 shows. Later that year for my birthday they got me a karaoke system. The following year they got me my first legit microphone so I could record myself singing. I had the time, the budget, the space, the sources, the support, everything. It was never about all of the above.

I learned that time doesn’t mean a thing if you can’t find something to do with it. It’s all about purpose. Having somewhere to go. Having things to do. Who would’ve thought that having purpose in life is one of the most liberating feeling one could feel, right? The past 5 months has taught me to go find my purpose in life, and right now I’m trying. I’ll be leaving for my studies abroad in two weeks and I cannot explain how much I’ve been looking forward to that day. Moving to a new country, to a new house, a new home. Meeting new people, new friends, new relationships. A new life. A new chapter in my book. New lessons for me to learn. So my advice for those who feel stuck in life is figure out what you want to do, where you want to do it, how to do it, prepare and just fly. You might not know what you want to do yet but you’re not gonna find anything by contemplating life 24/7. Get up and do things for yourself. Get to know yourself, then maybe along the way you’ll find your purpose in life and you’ll finally be free. xx