Local Tool Wants To Talk About His Favorite Aftershave
NEW YORK, NY — Saturday evening in the New York Sports Club on Broadway and 94th street, local tool Jeff Eppinger engaged fellow workout enthusiast Bill Gunderson in an unwarranted, extended conversation on the subject of aftershave.
“Proraso is for tools who think ‘Italian’ is a byword for quality,” said Mr. Eppinger, as Mr. Gunderson toweled off. “Proraso expects you to buy like, twenty products just to shave your stupid face. Like anyone’s gonna go to all that trouble. I mean, what the hell is pre-shave balm anyway?” he continued.
Mr. Gunderson later went on the record, saying that by the time Mr. Eppinger’s diatribe reached its zenith, Mr. Gunderson was mostly dressed and preparing to leave. As Mr. Gunderson put on his necktie, Mr. Eppinger, now wearing only his shower shoes, proceeded to demonstrate the application of Davidoff Cool Water aftershave lotion by applying it to his neck, only recently depilated in the shower.
It is unknown what transpired after this moment, because when Mr. Eppinger insisted Mr. Gunderson check out his sweet Omega Seamaster, Mr. Gundrson left in a hurry.
