One step at a time, turning bad habits into good

Since starting my journey with i2i HQ in late 2015 as an associate practitioner of their behavioural psychology strategies, I’m delighted with my new-found ability to get the stuff done, something I’d always struggled with.

Down the years, I’ve met people who, as if by magic, seemed able to accomplish whatever they set their minds to. Irrespective of their previous abilities or talents, I had witnessed their remarkable transformations.

Was there a secret potion they drank? What did they know that I didn’t? More importantly, how could I access their (desired) mindset? After all, I and many others I’m sure, want to be the best we can be at whatever we set out to do, right?

Building the habit

You’ve all heard the expression “Rome wasn’t built in a day”. Well, it’s true!

If you wish to build new habits, to create lasting positive change, it’s not an immediate transformation. Guess what, people are not born with the incredible ability to accomplish whatever they set out to achieve. It’s a skill that they have learned and mastered over time.

Your old habits do not die contrary to popular belief. But thankfully, they can and do wither and become less powerful if you know what to do…

And you’ll be relieved to hear that it’s simpler to achieve than you might have thought…

Yep, that’s it. If you want to build new, good habits, you’ve got to practice them, time and time again! And the more passionately and emotionally you believe in what you’re setting out to achieve with your new habit, the easier your quest for positive change becomes.

Consider for a moment all those ‘things’ you do without even thinking.

You know, the stuff that you just do instinctively?

Well, what’s happening is that with the 1000’s and 1000’s of times you’ve completed a particular action, you’ve laid a deepening neural pathway inside your brain, one which allows you to then complete said tasks almost effortlessly.

Learning to tie your shoelaces for the first time? Did not come naturally, did it? Learning to swim isn’t usually an overnight success? Learning to drive takes lessons and then heaps of practice before you’re allowed on the roads…

There are so many more examples, but you get my drift? These referenced actions are in fact embedded habits, which have been repeated throughout your life.

Okay, the science bit…

Neural pathways are like superhighways of nerve cells in your brain. They transmit messages that enable you to perform those everyday actions. You travel over these superhighway many times and so the pathway becomes more and more solid. You may eat a certain comfort food over and over (it’s chocolate for me) and that forms a brain pathway.

Your brain patterns are constantly changing so you can always forge new pathways and therefore create new habits (if you want to of course).

That’s called the neuroplasticity of your brain and because of this neuroplasticity, anything is possible.

People who’ve had strokes can retrain their brains to function again by building new pathways. Smokers for example, can learn new behaviours, and new attitudes to transform their lives by building these new habits.

So the principle of building new habits is straightforward. You just have to keep repeating said actions over and over again until they become embedded in your brain.

Until they too become a new habit!

Take running for example…

Up and running

At school, I was the kid who used to roll in the mud in cross country, before hopping on a bus back to the changing rooms! I was asthmatic. I had a hole in my heart, and never enjoyed running. For decades, I told myself over and over again that I was “rubbish” at running — we’ll talk in another post about ‘that voice’ inside your head, the one that’s probably talking to you right now...

It should therefore come as no surprise then to learn that I never ever ran. Yes, I played tennis, cricket, rugby and footie but in all of these sports, my ability to run was always poor to say the least. I’d created the habit that I was not a runner.

Fast forward to New Year’s Day 2017. I’d got all these new psychological strategies I’d been coaching people since August. High time I thought to truly practice what you preach…

Create the new habit of being able to run.

The context? I’d struggled to last one set of tennis over Crimbo, losing for the first time ever to sister, Tracy!!! I’d also become a business ambassador for Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital Charity (RMCH), Help For Humphrey and was very conscious I’d not really devoted proper time to this wonderful and amazing cause.

Especially given that my son, Joe had benefited from the incredible team at RMCH, and will continue to do so for the rest of his life I’m sure.

Therefore, the scene was set and in howling wind, rain and sub-zero temperatures, I set out in Jan for my first ever real run on the canals and streets of Ancoats, Manchester with my new running buddies at SupaReal

I had my passion to never ever again lose at tennis to my sister, my emotional desire to help other poorly children, plus my own desire to be a fitter father at fifty.

My 50th birthday, May 17th was a mere 4 ½ months away.

Weirdly, I surprised myself as I really enjoyed running. Granted, we’re not talking marathon distances in those first few weeks but the more I went out to run, the more commonplace it became. The new habit of running was embedding in my brain.

I started looking at my running clobber, investing in proper running shoes, and downloaded Strava, a running app. Why I even purchased some legging things to a) keep me warm and b) make me feel and look the part ;-)

Now if you’d told me that I’d be entering the Manchester 10K Run this time last year, I’d have choked on my coffee! Yet here I was in Feb, the “rubbish” runner, excitedly completing the race registration form along with my SupaReal running buddies.

The last five months have been a huge revelation for yours truly in terms of actually how bloody easy and rewarding it was to build a new good habit…

And yes, that old adage ‘practice makes perfect’ really does hold true. From puffing and panting in March after 5km, April saw me reach the dizzy heights of 8.5km without any real angst or pain whatsoever!

And chuffed as to now proudly share that my first ever Manchester 10K Run on Sunday 28th May saw me clock-up 59:39, which I am told for my first ever foray is rather impressive! Here’s me just after the finish line with my inspirational (running) partner, Jo Carthy.

The mother of all skills

So, if this old boy can shift from 40+ years of rubbish to half decent runner in five months, I’ll happily say that everything is achievable — within reason and context of course.

Will I continue to run after the Manchester 10K Run? You bet I will. The habit is embedded. Why, I have been running in Norfolk with my brother-in-law Mark Hobson and have even had Joe and Ella, my two wonderful kids, out on a cheeky 1KM on our holidays.

To stop running now would be disrespectful to myself, my running buddies and all those children, and their parents, who will always have to rely on the care and attention of the hospital staff to revert back to my old bad habit.

All you have to do is remember the key ingredients to building and creating new, good habits.

• a belief in what you want to achieve with your new habit
• an emotional connection to your belief
• lots and lots of practice and then practice some more!

Before you know it, it’ll become second nature and that old habit will have withered and weakened.

An old boss once told me that “repetition is the mother of all skills.” At the time, I always wondered what he meant!

Now I know, never a truer word said.

Practice what you preach

I’ve also decided to build another new good habit. With the amazing and inspiring knowledge I’m learning from Michael Finnigan’s i2i, I’ll be running a series of one day ‘Brain Training’ Open Courses in Manchester over the coming months for business owners, entrepreneurs, directors and senior management types.

So if you’ve got 30 seconds, please listen to people just like me and you, who have seen their mindsets transformed after completing one of my ‘brain training’ courses.

If you’re interested in learning more about my i2i ‘Brain Training’ Open Courses, what behavioural psychological strategies, tips and techniques I’ll be sharing to help you create your very own high performance mindset culture, please drop me an email and I’ll be back in touch with more info: simon.calderbank@i2ihq.com

As for me, it’s time now to work on this new good habit of writing regular content!!

Well, you’ve got to practice what you preach ;-)

So thanks for reading and of course, expect another post within the next seven days, this time on the power of the subconscious and how harnessing its power can bring about truly remarkable shifts in your mindset.

All the very best, Simon