Personifying your best self
Part of me knows what the hell is going on
I have a daily … I don’t know what to call it. It’s not a prayer because it’s not aimed at anybody. It’s not a mantra because you can understand all the words. An affirmation? A reminder? Any way it goes like this:
“May all sentient beings be happy, joyous, free, safe, and healthy, and may Kuan Yin look after all my children.”
By “all my children” I mean family, friends, and clients — all the people I love and/or care about. Sometimes I visualize the face of someone I feel is most in need.
Kuan Yin is a female Buddha (“Buddha” just means “Enlightened One” so anybody who is enlightened is a Buddha.) She is also a Bodhisattva. Bodhisattvas are people who become enlightened, which qualifies them to “become one with everything” and not be reborn. The original Buddha has melted into the universe and isn’t around anymore. What makes Bodhisattvas different is they don’t take off. They hang around to help other people become enlightened. Kuan Yin is sometimes considered a goddess and is worshiped in Taiwan and a few other places.
But for me, Kuan Yin is not a goddess. She is the personification of my very best self.
She is the one who always knows what needs to be done next and has the courage to do it. She’s the one that doesn’t get mad when someone is being mean to me. She sees they are suffering. They want to not hurt and they want to be happy just like me and everyone else. She’ll pet the mangiest looking cat. She’ll give $5 to a homeless person even if she suspects they’ll spend it on drugs because she hopes they’ll buy food.
Kuan Yin is a Good Person(tm). I am not.
Okay, sometimes I’m not.
I wrote an article recently about heroes with clay feet and pointed out that some of them have clay all the way up to the belly button. They are still heroes because heroes can be imperfect and still have a lot to offer. That’s true of me, too.
And you.
I kinda accidentally-on-purpose personified my best self. Each of us has the potential for heroism. Each of us has a lot to offer the world, even if it’s just giving $5 to somebody who smells bad.
We each have a best self.
No matter how self-centered and snarky we can be, we all have moments when we are kind, loving, empathetic, generous, hardworking, creative, industrious, and just plain angelic.
For some of us, those moments are fleeting. For some others, it’s something they don’t think about or notice. There are a few who are embarrassed if someone points it out.
A word on “best self”
This isn’t your “higher” self. I have no idea what people are talking about when they refer to that. All of you comes in a single package.
Any of you who have meditated know your thinking brain and the brain that notices you are thinking, feel like two different people. And the “watcher” seems smarter — way smarter.
The watcher is a feature of your best self. To call it a “higher self” or “higher power” just sounds like a euphemism for God. You are a lot of lovely things but “God” isn’t one of them.
I don’t think the universe has your best interests in mind. Almost the entirety of the universe is out to kill you. There’s a reason people take oxygen tanks when they climb Mount Everest.
Your best self is an excellent part of your very human mind and it’s always been there. Your two minds came as a set. Together, they have kept the human race going for a half million years, give or take.
Back to personifying
Your talking mind already has a name. You call it “me.”
The smarter, watching mind is also you, but it doesn’t feel as much like the “me” part of your mind. Instead, it feels like your mom, your dad, or a teacher. That’s okay, but sometimes those folks can be a tad judgmental. It is in your best interests to take out the trash, make your bed, and finish your homework but it doesn’t feel that way when they are talking — or yelling.
The personification of your best self needs to be friendly, kind, and absolutely on your side — because it is.
For a while, my personification was Coach Phil Jackson. At least in public interviews, he comes off as physically enormous, twinkly-eyed, and humorous in a gentle giant kind of way. It doesn’t hurt that he’s also a Buddhist.
I still sometimes imagine Coach Jackson if I need somebody smart to talk to. Yes, I have imaginary friends. So sue me.
The bottom line is there is a part of you that is your best self. That best self needs attention and development.
I think Gandalf is still available.
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Susan Cogan wears a lot of different hats but she is primarily a writer. She is the author of more than a dozen books and hundreds of articles and blog posts. She is also a CTI-trained life coach, Buddhist, artist, wife, and body servant to three cats.
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