It’s bloating up. That vicious cycle of stress

You wish you could getting rid of your stress, and you can’t. Then you are getting more stress intake


This (probably) related to post that telling how I hate my own insecurities.

If I could recall, 2016 was my first time in my life experienced a different kind of stress. You know, it’s kind of stress that attack your own health and body. In younger days, when I get my stress it will just make your head aching because you have a lot of things to solve. But now, it’s so different.

Nowadays, I experienced things like abnormal menstrual cycle, insomnia, gastritis, slow but painful heartbeat, hard to breath, when I stressed out.

Usually, when my insecurities level risen up that will bloating up my stress level too.

But what stupid yet funny about this, actually my stress level go high when I want to get rid of my stress. It’s like a cycle. One kind of crazy cycle.


Actually, my inner self know the theory to stop getting yourself insecure. But, ya know that applying theories to real case is so… hard.

People keep telling me that “I didn’t grateful enough”, “Everyone have their own specialties”, “This is just another time puberty hits you”, “Oh, another middle life crisis. Don’t just sit, doing something!”, and so on.

I just want to scream telling them “YES I KNOW IT ALL. But could you don’t look down on me when I’m in this phase? Do you think that everyone is like you, could really move and doing something great? Someone just need time…”

And I couldn’t scream it out, yet.


In honest opinion, I know this is probably Allah’s way to make me getting closer to Him. So… I actually want to rambling a lot. But, look likes… this is enough.

Everyone have their own time frame, right? So… yes, probably everyone have their own vision frame. And… passion is not the only things matter in this life, right? :)

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