Weird Silverware
Sometimes, it’s fun to explore fun facts involving crazy moments in history, incredible science and math, and the world’s most intriguing people. Other times, you just want to learn about some of the weirdest silverware people have made
The Soup Cooling Spoon
This spoon has a fan (powered by an electrical tube that can be subtley and discretely threaded through your jacket sleeve), which is intended to cool down your soup.
The Most Specific Utensil Ever
Ever wanted to have an easier time picking up cherry tomatoes? Try out the cherry tomato prong.
Ede-mami?
Getting edamame beans out of their skin can be so tough, so why not purchase this handy edamame extractor?
Think the above too are niche? Worry not — the same dude has also made an Artichoke extractor and a pita bread opener.
The Haptic Fork
Trying to cut calories? Try out the “Haptic Fork” — which tracks how much you eat and, if it thinks you have eaten too much, will start vibrating and flashing until you stop.
The Tool For Pizza Connoisseurs
Are you one of those weird people who cuts up their pizza and eats it with a fork? Are you also one of those people who can’t use a knife and fork to do so? In that case, we have the perfect tool for you:
Get Big While You Eat
Ever wanted to look like this dude?
Well, now you can do so by just eating.
The Titanic Carried Some Lazy Motherfuckers
The following is a “grape scissor”, used to cut grapes off of their stems, so that people didn’t have to apply the 1 lb of force needed to do this with your hand. They found nearly 1500 of them in the Titanic’s wreckage.
Other weird ass cutlery found on the titanic that I can’t find any good pictures of include:
- 400 “Asparagus tongs”
- 2000 “Egg spoons”
- 1000 “Oyster forks”
We all thought we knew how to eat pasta… until now
Ever had trouble eating your pasta like a normal person? Felt like your fork twirling skills just aren’t to par? Japan has your back.
The noodle fork’s extra sticky-point supposedly makes it much easier to eat Shrimp Scampi and similar dishes that people can already eat just fine.
Taking Multi-tasking to the next level
Ever been eating something, but also wanted to write in your journal? How about taking notes in class while also trying to eat lunch?
Well, Fred & Friends has just the answer for you.
These pen-utensils allow you to eat with flimsy-ass plastic cutlery and imbibe ink like nothing else can. Here’s an illuminating review from Amazon that helps explain just how useful these can be:
When the snobs I work with noticed my very clever utensils, I could clearly see that my marginal social status was in the process of taking a huge leap forward. From near the bottom of the pecking order, I advanced without delay to somewhere between third and fourth place. Had I the good fortune of a matching plate and cup, my coworkers surely would have returned to their various villages in abject shame. Inasmuch as this reflected my primary goal, I could only think “mission accomplished”.
For Artists Trying to Starve Themselves
If you’re looking for a combination of neo-modern style and functionally useless cutlery, I would recommend this cutlery.
Have you ever wanted to replace all of your cutlery with just one item? Now’s your chance
Meet “Trongs”, a weird red 3-fingered utensil that lets you pick things up without getting your fingers dirty, I guess?
What on earth would I use Trongs for, you ask? Their website (which looks like it was made with Geocities in 1998) begs the opposite question — what can’t you use Trongs for?
“Chopstocks on Steroids” indeed.
Movie Theaters Better Start Selling These
The Popcorn Fork allows you to grasp 2–3 kernels of popcorn without touching it with your hands, and then step yourself in the face with its pointy edges.
Taking Combs to the Next Level
The Cake Breaker allows you to (supposedly) cut very light cakes without smooshing them.
Alternatively, I might recommend buying a knife less dull than this in order to achieve the same effect:
Serving Citrus just got WAY easier
Serving lemons is hard. You have to grab the lemon, maybe even cut it in two, and then give it to your patron.
Instead, you might want to check out this unique piece of cutlery, which allows you to…put a lemon on a fork?
Never have your chocolate confections melt again
The “Bon-bon” scoop is purposely built to prevent your precious chocolate bon-bons from touching your warm body and melting. Perfect for those of us who can’t help but grip chocolates tightly in our hands for a few minutes before consuming the confection.
The Bacon Fork
I have no clue how this possibly makes eating bacon simpler or easier in any way. I don’t even quite understand how this fork would interact with Bacon (do you stab the bacon with the fork’s flame-like edges? Lay bacon on top of the fork? Use the fork to imprint random geometric patterns onto your bacon ?). But, evidently, someone made this Bacon fork.
Don’t touch my toast!
The Victorians made this nice toast stabber, used for stabbing toast.
Before The Days of Spoons
Long ago, people didn’t figure out that spoons were a good way to eat ice cream. Instead, they used “Ice Cream Knives”.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this brief tour through odd cutlery. If nothing else, I hope you learned that someone has made a uselessly specific piece of cutlery for every possible type of food.
