I Keep My Meditation Basic in Depression
Meditation Capabilities are Limited in Depression — I Go for Less
This essay is entirely a matter of opinion. Copyright © 2022 Talon 38 Personal Media, LLC.
Many of us who’ve suffered through severe clinical neurotransmitter depression have been told that “meditation helps.” But sometimes the advisor of this wisdom might not have been as disabled and hindered as have some of us, during the worst stages, and so the assumption that dedicated focused meditation can be reasonably accomplished can be incorrect, to my experience, and in my opinion.
I’ve discovered that “lazy,” or “miniature” type meditation is the way to go for severe depression, for me. Duration of meditation is not even attempted any longer than 5–15 seconds long, the way I do it. More is too much to ask of a brain low on basic metabolic power and low on signal speed, I’ve found personally. “Clearing the mind” was also too much to ask, for me. Closing the eyes and using the lotus position was also too much to ask for, for me.
The meditation I do for severe depression is done standing, with eyes open. I still the body with good posture, and stare ahead into some part of my home, preferably a pleasant and organized scene in a private portion of my home. I’ve found that if I close my eyes, then matters get too slippery and vague, so keeping my eyes open helps maintain focus and clarity. As I stand still, with eyes open, I hold my arms up and in front of me, choosing some shape and pattern to make with my arms and hands, and a geometry of the hands and arms that takes some output effort to keep up briefly, but not too hard. However, I do not focus on the geometry of the hand and arm position. It is merely and strictly “output of effort.” Simultaneously, while putting out some minor effort to hold up the arms and hands, then I focus my attention on my sense of sound, plus my peripheral or overall sense of vision of the scene, and maybe also focusing some on the feel of my breathing. The sound, the scene and the breathing are for “focus and attention on input.” The arm position is for “output only” of other aspects of brain activity, and it is kept fairly unattended to in sensation.
I hold this posture and attention “blend of output and input” for a time duration between 5 seconds and 15 seconds. For such a short duration period, even my brain in chronic pain and very weak on energy resources can maintain the meditation smoothly and without overly taxing oneself.
I have discovered that I can do this “miniature meditation” up to a few times an hour, and that it does help truly, even if only a small to medium amount. Every bit counts and going for more can backfire painfully and disappointingly, for me. I try to do this sort of meditation from twice to ten times a day, approximately.
