FILM REVIEW

Red One is a Level Four Naughtylister

Santa is missing and Christmas is in danger — spoiler-free

Chris Evans and Dwayne Johnson in Red One. Photo credit Warner Bros. Pictures

It’s the most wonderful time of the year when Hollywood rips out the newest, greatest waste of celluloid about Santa. This year’s chosen film is Red One, a combination of The Santa Clause, Krampus, Elf and about every other Christmas movie you’ve ever seen.

Dwayne Johnson plays Callum Drift, the commander of ELF (Enforcement Logistics and Fortification). He is disillusioned with his job of protecting Santa from the evils of the world. Despite his best efforts, Santa is kidnapped after he leaves the mall and arrives at the North Pole. Drift needs to find him and save Christmas for all the boys and girls. He is assisted by a polar bear, and I am asking, why?

Photo credit Warner Bros. Pictures

Lucy Liu plays Zoe, the head of M.O.R.A (Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority) who constantly tells us what a nightmare world we will have without Santa making his run. Chris Evans plays Jack O’Malley, the obligatory father trying to connect with his son Dylan (Wesley Kimmel) at Christmas.