For the Love of All That Is Holy, Please Stop Saying “Vibes.”

One Time, I Broke My Parents’ Toilet While Masturbating

How To Not Get Pregnant in your 30's

I’d been to sex toy parties before, where girls giggled over dildos and lingerie while sipping…

Table for One, Please: Being Single at a Couple’s Resort

The Fall of a Weekend Warrior: A Journey into Forced Zen via a Pair of Batman Underwear

My Interview with President Trump

America has officially been Great Again for 22 months, but if you ask President Trump, he’ll tell…

What Does a Mommy Say?

One morning I was at Costco with my son, who at the time was pretty small — the stage when we were still going over…

The Venn Diagram of Artistic Success

When strangers ask me what I do, I tell them that I am a writer.

Celebrity Deaths Need Lampooning, Too

Each time a celebrity dies, I am surprised anew at how speedily and enthusiastically my…

The Butterfly Parent

I went sledding with the kids not long ago, one winter day in Kansas City.