CPF! Literary Magazine Is Now Accepting Submissions!
Dear Artists, Soul Exposers, Peace-Grenade Launchers, Oppression Topplers, Heartstring Virtuosos, and TurboFemme VikingDidacts,
Chartreuse Pegasus Fractal!, a literary magazine founded upon the principles of sledgehammering boundaries and cuddling with transgression, is now accepting submissions of prose and poetry for its Vernal Equinox 2016 issue.
CPF! was founded in 2004 by Scheherazade Feinberg-Watanaki, head pedagogue at the New Mexico Institute for Spiritual Humans. Camille-Mildred Gubsock came on board in 2013 as the magazine’s Body Positivity Consultant and Director of Fundraising (she chooses the meditations that will compel the universe to send financial support).
Both Scheherazade and Camille-Mildred have worked hard to refine the magazine’s underlying philosophy and mission. They believe pieces of literature are organic, hemp-based pool rafts that authors and authoresses must inflate with the purposeful exhalations of their pens. A story is but a balloon ready to float us up toward spiritual transcendence; a poem is an oasis in a desert, a block of soy cheese found in the dark recesses of a famished college student’s mini fridge.
CPF! publishes artistic works that inspire, embolden, incubate, coagulate, exalt, fondle, metastasize, bulwark, and caramelize the hearts and minds of those who read them. The ideal CPF! story is full-voiced, ursine, slithery, purple-tinted, itinerant, trapezoidal, and lightly salted.
CPF! will consider all submissions received, with special attention given to pieces of the following genres: first-person Civil War lesbian erotica, trapped in a canoe, North African limericks, creative nun fiction, Marxist snowman allegory, blank-verse Gilda Radner surrealism, and Belize-to-Finland immigrant narratives. (Note: because we have received an overwhelming number of such submissions in the past year, we will no longer accept anti-colonialist seafarer villanelles. Pantoums are okay, though, if there’s a starfish.)
CPF! is one of the most prestigious literary magazines of the American Southwest, having featured the following pieces in past editions:
Microaggressive Eggplant Subterfuge by Todd McLeary
The Peregrine of Watery River by Claudette Toussaint-Garlic
The Environmentalist Gumshoe by eLiZaBeTh fReEdOm 4 eVeRy 1
Please include the following heading when submitting your work to CPF!:
Your astrological sign
The number of social media posts (per week) you have made in the last year relating to the #BlackLivesMatter and #IStandWithPP movements
What you have done to offset the carbon footprint created by the production and submission of your work.
Please ensure that your submission conforms to the guidelines below:
All manuscripts must be triple-spaced (those that follow patriarchal double-spacing conventions will be immediately recycled).
All submissions must use the word “ennui” or “subaltern” at least once.
No heteronormative typefaces allowed (Verdana? Seriously? What is this, 1959 Alabama?)
Here’s what critics and authors have said about CPF!:
“I read CPF! every solstice and equinox. It has provided me with the wings needed to soar toward Word-Truth. And my acupuncturist said it cured my bladder cancer.” — Gerald Earthfoot, Energy-Field Supervisor at New Mexico Institute for Spiritual Humans
“Sure, I’ll write a testimonial for your magazine. Now where’s my free joint?” — Rodney Naegele, inspirational hobo
“I don’t know what a fractal is, but the magazine is pretty cool, I guess.” — GEORGE SANDERS, local handyman
The deadline for submissions is March 1, or when the She-God Bo-Myra claps her hands five times. Whichever comes first.