Meet the Tween

These are the words my ten-year-old shared with me just the other day. There is often talk about young children and teens, but what about the group of kids that is in between — that group that is not quite a child and not quite a teen?

Formerly referred to as pre-teens, this group of kids is now commonly called tweens. The term “tween” stands for “in between” a child and a teenager. It generally refers to kids who are 9 to 13 years old or in grades 4 to 8. The term “tween” was initially created by the marketing industry, and the impact and influence of this group is significant.
I’ll be the first to admit that many eons ago before I had children, I didn’t quite understand the tween phenomenon. I couldn’t figure out what the big deal was. I wasn’t called a tween when I was growing up. In the late 70′s and early 80′s, you went straight from childhood to teen; there wasn’t an in-between. There now is.

No longer a “little” kid and not “big” either; this group of young ladies and young men are the truly encompass the space between. Tweens are sort of like proverbial middle children — often confused about exactly where they fit in — even within this age group. Kids, ages 9-13, ride a fine line of still wanting to play with toys while simultaneously being preoccupied with boy/girl friendships, appearance, and even dating. Actually, the level of that preoccupation is what transitions them between being a younger tween, older tween and finally full-fledged teen.

So, as a parent, where does leave with you? Well, if you are like most parents of kids this age, confused: confused about your role, about how to get through him, about why she keeps rolling her eyes and about where you even go from here in terms of guiding your child through what could best be described as Mr. Toads Wild Ride. The long answer is the same as the short answer: you go where you both lead each other. Sometimes you both will be headed in the same direction. Other times, not so much. (kinda like most things in life, isn’t it?)

One thing I say with certainty, though, is that your tween needs you. He needs you to listen, to ask, to share. She needs you to help her understand what’s going on. And, most importantly, your tween wants — needs — to know that, at any age, he or she matters…especially to you.