The Quorum
Conceptual plays for amateur theatre groups
A quorum is a play that can be played by a diverse set of players. This makes it much easier for players to find plays that fit their group.
How does it work? In these plays, what’s left out is who exactly says what. This is is up to the players to determine. Groups divide lines to fit their amount of players. The definition of characters and their motives may change because of allotted lines. Print out and find out whose name to write before each line. Sometimes players can get way more lines, or speak several following lines. Or divide every single line as much as possible.
Each quorum (plural Quora), or sketch, will offer a range for a possible group size. Here we offer 5 of them in different sizes and styles. The 3 starters also help practicing text comprehension and finding out together what makes it work. A good exercise could be to let groups of 2,3,4 and or 5 prepare their own version of these starters. They all may make for intriguing direction and practicing, like finding out new interpretations for surprising new endings. Enjoy.
HOLD UP (one scene act, 2+ players)
To be played with a minimum of 2 players (a robber and a victim), both of which can have additional partners.
In an alley at night, suddenly, under a lonely street lantern.
Halt. This is a hold up.
Yeah!?
Your money or your life!
Oh, funny. I like pranks and jokes.
You have to take this serious! This is a gun!
Of course. Here you are.
Life is full of surprises.
This is a very big one!
Oh. That’s how this can end too.
Indeed.
FINALLY (one scene act, 2+ players)
To be played with a minimum of 2 players (a romantic couple or… a conspiracy crew).
In a dark moonlight footsteps come closer to an enclosure where someone is, or some people are, waiting.
Ah finally, there you are.
How long have you been seeking?
(smiles) Clearly long enough.
I wondered who’d be coming.
Wondered who? Who else could be coming?
Sit down.
Are we all alone now?
What is it you want?
You know how I feel about us. About this.
Meaning? What did you bring?
Let me show it.
Oh. Didn’t see that coming.
I should have been more honest.
Finally.
FAMILY (one scene act, 3+ players)
To be played with a minimum of 3 players (a family of mother, one or more children, perhaps a father figure). Tip: see what happens if the homecoming child says “Some of you still don’t believe it.” And what if it’s one of the other children.
In a ordinary family home a child returns from an endeavor. He or she holds a diploma or sports cup up.
Mother, I’ve got it! I made it.
Well done! This makes me so proud of you.
I’m curious.
Okay, show it.
(Some are looking close up at what was brought)
Can you imagine. Me. Doing that? Can you?
Well, eh, what shall I say?
Some of you still don’t believe it. You can’t see me succeed at anything.
(The homecoming child is embraced by the mother.)
This is how it is.
Why always with her/him and not with me?
Ha. You know why.
If that is true, then I’m out of here.
(One child leaves. A parent reacts)
What did I do wrong this time?
PRUNING (a quorum in one act, 6+ players)
To be played with a minimum of 3 parks workers,(a girl, guy and failed student type), their chef, and a lady from city council. Additional players can be added to the crew and perhaps a stiff clip board holder to the city hall visitor.
A number of members of a parks department are working with minimal effort. The sun is hot and they’re sweating anyway.
Phew.
(bigger) Pfff.
(and bigger) Jeeez.
(and bigger) Bhew.
(and bigger) Weuhhhh.
(playful contradiction) Brrr.
Stop it!
Oh, come on. We’re having fun.
(cynical) Hoorah.
Jeez.
(slow work continues, then official looking visitor(s) and the crew’s chef walk on stage)
Look, here they are. This is them.
Hey chef! Who did you bring?
Clearly a classy lady!
What the office chick doing here?
The mayor having new plans?
Guys!
And girl(s)!
Oh, shut up.
Well, boys, eh, girl(s)! How are you all doing?
What do you mean with that, ma’m?
Well, she want to know what’s going on?
Oh, it’s warm.
It’s very warm.
It’s pressing weather!
It’s hot!
It’s damned hot out here!
We’re sweating like otters. Even the plants are begging for rain.
We need, they need, we all need water. More water.
Everywhere.
Well said. (wink)
Really? I don’t like getting wet.
Pity.
Is that a sexist remark, John?
What a child.
Guys, the visitor!
Don’t mind them, they don’t know any better.
What’s that chef? Aren’t you on our side here?
It seems these people have no clue about etiquette.
I know difficult words too, like banquet, minaret, upset.
Or do you mean authority? Like you people being here to boss us around?
I like banquet best. Can we have one?
Or do we have to organize it ourselves?
Peoples, can I have a moment? This is not why I’m here.
Oh, pray, do tell. We’re curious.
We don’t mind looking at ye.
Come on! Don’t be so childish!
Childish? You need mature levels of testosterone for such remarks.
There we have our student again.
Come on, lets listen to the lady.
Now well get to hear it.
Well, can’t you tell the message from the way she’s dressed?
And from the clone she brought.
Yeah, and? I know more like her.
Me too. Never got to dance with one however.
Funny, not funny.
Good! I will have to be tough now. You’ve been wasting my time. Is that understood?
Exactly. You’re right ma’m.
Oh, yeah, why? We were only teasing a little bit. Why can’t we be tough for once?
Her attitude already told us, she wasn’t bringing prizes.
Not hard? Come on. Isn’t trimming like us being tough on plants?
Yeah, but that’s like being a good parent. You have to place borders.
This is no different.
How do you mean?
She means, somebody will get fired.
Somebody?
Somebodies!?
All of us!!!!???
We have concluded none of you is working hard enough.
By whom?
(threatening) Yeah, who said that?
We always work hard.
‘T is only with this weather right now.
Enough!
You betrayed us!
Me!? I’d never!
I said, enough!!
Me? How did you think that? She betrayed us!
Come on. Look at her. She’d never..
Ah, you see. Just the fact you talk about betrayal says it all. It means you did do too little work.
Huh!!?
I bet you didn’t get that, eh?
So? Whatever? If we stop, what will happen to our parks?
Yeah, who’ll do the pruning?
Nature grows all by itself boys. She doesn’t need you for that.
Are we all, being pruned so to say, lady?
Indeed, all of you. The whole bunch.
Oh yeah, we’ll see who does the pruning here.
Boys!
Pruning or not pruning, that is the question.
Boys, be reasonable! It’s a city hall decision! Budget cuts!
Boys? What about the girls? (lifts a fork)
What about us doing our work? (starts making a clipping rhythm with hedge scissors)
What about us budget cutting? (lifts another instrument)
What about us taking matters in our own hands?
What about me not liking to have to live in a car again?
What about all of us being sick of all of you?
What about us, doing what we do best? Pruning.
Boys! Guys! Girl(s)!!
Pruning, pruning, pruNING, PRUNING, PRUNING, PRUNINGGGGGG!!!!
ABYSS (a quorum in one act, 5+ players)
A play about death. How or our different responses are the only difference. To be played with a minimum of 5 or more players. Any kind is okay. With 12+ players some may die without a spoken word. Make it slowmotion ballet to the ground in the background.
(While the light fades in, seashore sounds in the background)
On a bare stage with bare lights, or in a dark mist with dramatic lights, stands a group of people, separate from each other. They’re all waiting for their death. It looks like they face a sundown on a beach behind the audience.
I hang above an abyss. I barely hang onto the roots of an old plant. Deep below me deadly rocks. Above me, looking over the edge of the cliff I jumped from a lurking tiger awaits me. It hungrily hopes I’ll try to climb back up. Then where the roots come out of the side of the cliff, two mice, one white and one black. They start chewing at the roots, filling their bellies. I can’t go up, I can’t go down. Soon enough, I’ll be dead either way. And aside from me, surprise, are growing a few strawberries….
He, you! Isn’t that one of them Buddhist stories or such? Like they’ll be helping out here.
Sssh. I want to know how the story ends.
Easy enough. He drops. Dead.
No, first he screams, and then he drops, this time screaming again. You know with one of them really looong screams.
And what about the blackberries?
Strawberries!
He grabs them, you know, for the journey. But what do I know. He’ll die anyway.
What are they saying? You! What are they talking about?
He’ll die anyway.
Who is dying?
Everybody is dying.
Sssh. I want to know how the story ends.
Oi, there goes another one of us.
Sorry no time, I’m busy.
I think that I….
You have to learn to live. Get everything out of it. Like me.
I want to know how the story ends. Can we finish the story here?
Rage!
But there goes one of us..
Rage against the dying of the light.
What is she doing?
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
She tries to save him. Silly girl.
Hey sis, don’t bother. It’s another goner. Better save yourself. That’s my advice.
Exactly. Another one us us gone. She could have seen it coming.
Monsters. You’re all monsters. Don’t you have any empathy?
Come on, they don’t know any better. Why don’t we try making the best of it?
What did I try to tell you? Rage, don’t just accept it! It comes anyway. Make it a fight worth retelling your children.
What children? Too late for that.
Pathetic. Look at me. I’m gonna make it. I’m gonna score. Make it big.
Really. You. Here? Look around you.
No, I’m.. I’m goin to, no….not now. Aaargh.
What the fuck!?
How does the story end?
Aaarrghhhhh.
Better wait until that one stopped screaming. Jeez, he could have shown more class. It’s not that hard.
Don’t bother. Cliff or tiger, we scream. Does anyone still have some wine?
Who died just yet? Oh…him. That was to be expected. Stay calm and accepting is what I say.
You can do something! Live healthy, I say. That’s what makes you live longer.
How rude. You guys are so rude. All bla bla bla. We could research together if we could save ourselves. We could work together. Why aren’t we working on that? Complacent a*holes.
Save ourselves!? Be real. We’ll all gonna die. No stopping about it. I propose we all ring a bell and shout: “Next!” each time after one goes. Saves time.
Come on. Only He decides. Only he’ll judge us in the end. Best to pray more often and increase your chances for a happy ending. .. No, not that one!
Better pray before death, or only after? You know, when we get to see if there’s actually an afterlife?
Live healthy, I say. That’s what makes you live longer.
Yeah, you said that before. But what if that life is boring. Shouldn’t you at the least try to make something out of it. Have some ambition!
Yeah, ambition as in, work yourself to death? You go, baby, go reach the top and then when you arrive, you find, you never really lived. Ha! Idiots.
Live healthy, I say. That’s what makes you live longer. (coughs)
Can someone please tell me , how the story ends.
Isn’t it a wonderful evening. Who wants to dance? Let’s dance!
(music)
Come, will you dance with me? You’re so beautiful. The evening is beautiful.
Go away. Please get away from me. You’re creepy.
Please, I, … I … urgh (sinks to the ground)
Hey you, why didn’t you let him? Why not grant his wish?
His dying wish, I might add.
..I didn’t want to. I didn’t even know the guy. (sobs)
Hush, I’m with you.
Hey, you two. Bonding breaks hearts. When one dies, the other suffers.
Jeez, moron.
(the sobbing girl sinks to the ground. The one next to her watches in sad silence)
This story must have some wisdom for all of us, no? Can you finally tells us the ending? I…
How come you think the ending wasn’t clear? Isn’t it clear? It ends in death.
Ooh, shut up! You cynic! But please, share the ending. I…oh my God..
The ending, please… quickly…
(the last players still alive on stage all die, except the one who started the story.)
How the story ends? Well, I’m hanging there. Seconds to live. I pick the strawberries. Wow, almost orgasmic. They taste super sweet.
(The light starts to fade. Sounds of sea shoreline. In the last grey light before all the light is gone, the last player silently sinks to the floor, one hand almost like he’s experiencing ballet. Then all light is gone.)
All works are © Floris Koot 2004, English translation 2022. Please, when you play for a paying audience, or want to publish them, contact me.
