No Poacher, No Problem
Poachers were once a problem in Estonia. But then the government figured out a way to scare the sh*t out of them.
Poaching used to be a problem in Estonia, until the Ministry of Environment found a clever way to put NATO troops to work. They’re called the Cherubini Group, and they patrol the rivers.
Unlike the Wagner Group, they’re not long-winded. They’re nice, too, and never commit rape or steal your home appliances. To the contrary: they’ll gladly install them for you. As long as you’re not a poacher.
It was Stalin who said “нет браконьера — нет проблемы” (no poacher, no problem). And the Cherubini Group has taken it to heart. Their youthful leader is known for his charisma, precociousness, and perspicacity, yet he is quick to mete out punishment. His soldiers describe him as “mean but fair,” and he’s been known to order poachers to suffer Dutch rubs, noogies, hinder-binders, and the occasional dogpile. “Doesn’t sound severe,” he says, “but when administered by six Rangers, the poacher never forgets.”
Photography by Jacques-Alain Finkeltroc, ©2023, Tous droits réservés.
