Give Me Insulin or Give Me Death
When I was ten years old, I almost died. I was sick for months but didn’t know it. I was constantly hungry and thirsty. No matter how much I ate or drank, I never felt full or hydrated. I was getting thinner, too. My family didn’t know what was wrong, so they assumed I was having a growth spurt. However, my energy began draining, I started losing the color in my face and my personality became dull and irritable.
One day at school, I had to run a mile for a physical fitness test. I had barely run half a mile when my legs started cramping, my whole body felt weak and I was having trouble breathing. At the time, my P.E. teacher thought I was being dramatic and told me to keep running. I remember sobbing and saying I physically couldn’t run anymore.
The next day, I couldn’t hold down any food and my mom finally took me to the doctor. Within a few minutes of seeing me, my pediatrician sent us straight to the intensive care unit at the children’s hospital.
We didn’t know that my body had stopped producing insulin a few months before. Insulin is a hormone that binds to your cells, allowing carbohydrates to enter the cell to be converted into energy. My body had been starving itself for months, unable to break down any of the carbs I consumed. I had no energy, and my muscles were weak as a result. My body broke down my fat as an alternative energy source, which made me lose a ton of weight. If I had not gone to the doctor when I did, I would have died within days or weeks.
My diagnosis was type one diabetes, which is also called juvenile diabetes because it is most often diagnosed in children and teenagers. At some point during childhood, the immune system mistakenly attacks and kills the insulin producing cells in the pancreas, but scientists don’t know what triggers this immune response. The body cannot survive without insulin, which makes insulin the only treatment for diabetes.
In 1922, insulin was extracted from a pancreas for the first time and tested on diabetes patients. Since the discovery of insulin, diabetes went from being a death sentence to being a treatable, chronic condition.
When a stranger looks at me, they have no way of knowing I have this invisible disability. It isn’t until I pull out my syringes and bottle of insulin at a restaurant that anyone realizes I have type one diabetes. Recently, I started wearing an insulin pump and a glucose monitor which makes my diabetes more visible in public.
Every day, I have to monitor my blood sugar and take insulin injections when I eat carbohydrates. This involves memorizing the carb contents in different kinds of food and calculating how much insulin to take based on an insulin to carb ratio. If I miscalculate, my blood sugar can become too high or low. High blood sugars require taking more insulin, and lows require eating more carbs. Low blood sugars can be very dangerous and can quickly become fatal if not treated.
Most people are unaware of all the systems in their bodies that work every day to keep them alive. Having to take over only one of these systems has made me very aware of how incredible the human body is. Every day I act as my own pancreas, doing the job of constant calculation and administration of insulin.
My diabetes is a huge aspect of my life, because I have to think about it all the time, every day, for the rest of my life. There are no days off from diabetes. My disease does not define me, but it does play a large role in who I am as a person.
I make an effort to educate every person in my life about my diabetes. I have encountered a lot of general ignorance about type one diabetes from people throughout my life, which can be frustrating and annoying. I am not afraid to share what my life with diabetes is like because I want more people to be aware of what it is, how it is caused and how it is treated.
Most people are familiar with type 2 diabetes, which is caused by the body building up insulin resistance due to a variety of reasons. The most common causes are high carb and high fat diets, inactive lifestyles and genetic predisposition. Eating less carbs helps the body decrease insulin production, which helps lower the body’s resistance to insulin absorption.
Insulin resistance is very different from the body not producing any insulin at all. People with type one diabetes didn’t do anything to cause this disease, and there is no diet or amount of exercise that can make it go away.
Some comments I have heard from people who realize I am diabetic has included, “How can you have diabetes? You don’t look fat,” or “My grandma has diabetes, so I totally understand what it’s like!” I wish more people understood why these comments are ignorant and hurtful.
I also like to educate people about my diabetes to raise awareness about the struggles diabetics go through to get their insulin. According to a 2016 analysis in the Journal of the American Medical Association, the cost of insulin nearly tripled over a span on ten years. In 2016, the average cost of insulin was $18,000 a year, which showed a $6,000 increase from the previous year. Prices have continued to climb, and many diabetics have to ration their insulin or skip doses in order to afford to live.
The cost of insulin has also become a major talking point in conversations about healthcare reform. I hope to make more people aware of these problems diabetics face, because more awareness builds support, and support is what we need to make policy changes. I use my diabetes as a form of activism to show people the importance of affordable healthcare.
Although living with diabetes is difficult, frustrating and exhausting, I choose to fight for my life every day. I have received so much support from my family and friends, and everyone in my life knows how to treat an emergency and support me when I need help. I have met so many other diabetics who have shared my experience and can relate to me in a way that no one else can. Support from the people around me means everything to me and encourages me to keep fighting.
The most important thing I hope people learn about diabetes is that insulin is literally our life saver, and I hope more people join the fight for affordable insulin.
