The dumbest mistakes men make on first dates
Women, please give your input
1) They’re very shy and stick to superficial conversations
As a general rule, women aren’t interested in this kind of conversation. Women are used to being approached by men and are tired of the “What’s your job? Where do you live? What’s your favorite film?” These are obviously important questions, but if the conversation doesn’t go much further than that, there’s no interest.
What you should do is show the woman what you’re about. What motivates you? What is your mission in life? Where are you going? Who are you?
If you talk about these things, you’ll talk with joy and you’ll be naturally funny, you don’t need to force yourself to be something you’re not, because you’re talking about your passions. Ask her the same questions, make sure you know how she thinks, and what she wants, and make sure you know who she is.
Tell her stories that allow her to understand your goals and values. Don’t try to tell her stories to impress her or with ulterior motives, show her who you are and she’ll gain admiration for you, as most men don’t do this.
Example: Stories about your work, family, sport, hobbies.
2) They try to imitate what red pill YouTubers teach in their videos
Many men try to maximize physical attraction, chemistry, and dominance. What they’re doing is simulating that they’re in love and that’s false, insecure women will fall for this tactic, but secure ones will feel uncomfortable and pull away.
That’s why these red-pill YouTubers tell you to talk to 100 women a night. Some of them will be insecure enough to fall for this fake persona you’ve created.
If you’re looking for a serious, healthy relationship, this kind of behavior will only drive away the women with substance, the ones who will be a good partner.
Be yourself and you’ll find more people who like who you are than you might think.
3) They play mind games
“Don’t text her for 3 days, she’ll go crazy for you”. If you’re using these quasi-manipulative tactics, it’s because you don’t trust the woman enough to be honest with her and create a real connection with her. If you’re doing it, it’s because you’re not creating a sincere connection with her and if that’s the case, there’s no point in continuing. Both of you should move away and in this way, you’ll both find people you really want to get to know who are good for you and who don’t play with your feelings and are toxic people.
4) They’re too nice and overly romantic
This kind of attitude makes a woman think you’re fake, so she forgets that she doesn’t like you and ends up sleeping with you, or it gives the impression that you want to please her like a son pleases a mother, which shows immaturity.
Both approaches cause most women to lose interest.
This kind of behavior can also give the impression of neediness. A needy man drives women away. Being needy conveys the message “I don’t know how to solve problems and find solutions, so I’ll just lie still and cry, waiting for someone to come and rescue me”.
No woman is interested in a man who is emotionless and looks like a rock. They want a man who shows his emotions but who, when faced with problems and challenges, faces them and looks for a solution instead of being paralyzed with fear.
5) They assume that because a woman doesn’t throw herself at them explicitly, she doesn’t want anything to do with them.
More confident and mature women tend not to be explicit about their interest in a man, at least in the early days of getting to know each other. This is for biological reasons. Women unconsciously select the man who gives them the most security to have a child, because it’s the woman who can get pregnant, so they are extremely selective with the men they have relationships with (women who want serious relationships). As such, getting to know someone takes time, has its ups and downs, and is something that needs to be consolidated in a woman’s mind, so women who are the best partners rarely show an explicit interest in the men they like.
Besides, getting to know someone is a very good and beautiful process; learning to enjoy conversations, walks, and simple things. If you do this, you’ll form a much stronger bond with the woman and everything will be better in your potential relationship.
Don’t think that a woman is boring, finds you boring, is uninteresting, or finds you uninteresting simply because she doesn’t show an immediate explicit interest in you, give things time to develop.
6) They try to rush into sex
Any woman with whom you want to build a lasting and serious relationship will shy away from any man who tries to rush into bed with her. Once again, enjoy the pleasure of getting to know a new person, take things slowly and once you’ve established a real connection with the woman, sex will be much better.
Note to women:
Some women feel pressurized by this kind of approach to give in, thinking something like: “I have little to offer, he’s an incredible man, all the other women are willing to give him sex instantly, so why would he stay with me if I didn’t? So I have to give him sex to try and keep him with me and not let him run off to someone else.”
Women, don’t think like that, the men who matter, and who are good for you, will know how to bide their time. Nobody is so bad that the only thing they have to offer another human being is sex. If you think that about yourself, take some time to reflect on your life and you’ll certainly find many reasons why men would be lucky to have a relationship with you.
7) Share the wrong stories
Share stories about your good friends, your family, and what you’ve achieved in your life (without being a stupid narcissist who thinks it’s good), share stories about what you’re building, not just what you’ve achieved but what you’re currently doing to get what you want.
Show her that you’re a human being with values, ambition, and a good heart, that’ll win over any woman, not the stories where you try to look rich or try to make out that you’re the best man in the world in bed.
8) They don’t mention commitment at all
We’re all looking for someone to build a life with, to share our lives with. Yet, strangely enough, we’re all afraid to talk about it, for fear of scaring the other person away.
You don’t need to talk about marriage, but show her that having a serious relationship, living with someone, and building a family is something you want and that will reassure the woman that you’re not just another guy who wants to take her to bed.
That said, for both men and women:
Nowadays, we live in a world where everything is rushed, where we’re all in a hurry for something, where “spending time” getting to know someone else is a waste of time. We think that there has to be immediate chemistry and that you both have to be the same in what you like and what you don’t like, that you both have to be very clear about what you want, and that you have to get into bed with each other as quickly as possible to know if you’re investing your time well or if you’re investing it in the wrong person.
We all look for a pretty face and hope that this face will then be what we want in our partner, but the reality is that we must first establish a real connection with the other person and then that person will become the prettiest of all. It’s worth “wasting time” getting to know someone else, it’s worth getting to know other human beings, even if nothing comes of it, we always take lessons with us. And don’t look for a clone of yourself, a person who likes the same things, look for your complement.
If you’re an anxious person, have you ever looked at the calmest person you know? Does he or she transmit calm to you? Isn’t that a good thing for you? Are you a person who procrastinates a lot? Wouldn’t that person who is very motivated and always striving for something be good for motivating you too? You’d both balance each other out, which would make for a very healthy and happy relationship.
Don’t rush, take your time, take things slowly, and work on yourself. You’re sure to find someone who makes you happy and who you can make happy too.
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