10 lessons I learnt during my spiritual growth

Antonio Jose de Mello
Food for Soul
Published in
4 min readFeb 21, 2019

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Two years ago, I discovered the fascinating skills of refining my attention inwards and being more present. I learnt to recognize myself as more than a simple ego. I learnt to trust my feelings and intuitions instead of ignoring by swallowing them up. As we live in a continuous flow of thoughts and emotions, nurturing awareness for our feelings over rationality can be comparable to space jump when it comes to travelling. It has led me to new frontiers. One of the great benefits was that suddenly I knew myself better than never. I was able to listen to my heart and couldn’t run away from becoming a chef. It just wasn’t an option. I re-discovered the creative person I had always been. Through food, I am searching to connect with others, to inspire you and to express meaning. I am still at the very beginning of my journey, yet I would like to share 10 key ideas that can help you to support your own growth. And here are them:

I. The first idea is that self-improvement should originate from the inner experience of ourselves rather than from an outside motivation. Usually, we tend to drive our attention to our environment and things we think we need to possess to feel better with ourselves. So often, we compare with others and aim for making more money, for having a better job, for being in happier relationships and for a prettier or healthier body. When we move our attention within, we bring our self-improvement closer to our sense of being rather than to others. This way, our improvement is driven by a search for meaning and connection.

II. Also, our growth means a process of transformation rather than a list of goals. Nothing gets lost or goes to waste, it all belongs to an organic evolution with failure and success. Instead of taking rigid decisions and making radical changes on ourselves, our improvement should be more like laying out a personal holistic plan. This means taking into account all areas of our life, our emotions, feelings, and a deeper understanding of who we are.

III. This leads us to the third idea that self-improvement shouldn’t feel like a new attempt at each turn of the calendar year. It’s a life journey with its own timeframe. We should shift our mindset as an impatient being trying to achieve his list of yearly goals towards a patient being that knows how to appreciate every step of the way. Time should not be a constraint in our process.

IV. More importantly, our growth needs to rely on awareness rather than checkpoints. Checkpoints are an external and simple milage system that provides us with a sense of control whereas awareness is an internal flashlight that guides us out of our darkest moments. Nurturing our self-consciousness will always be the fastest way to a real transformation. Therefore, we should be mindful, take time to understand our suffering and be curious about what makes us special.

V. Most of the time we put too much thinking in the process and not much heart. We are taught to give priority to our rational mind when making decisions or when giving meaning to our lives. Often forgetting that most of the magic in life hides behind the awareness of our heart’s voice. He talks to us in a subtle language, usually encrypted to the “eyes” of our mind. We should pay more attention to our emotional patterns, body feelings and our own synchronicity. They can help us to magnify our self-improvement with beauty and meaning, which many of us search for.

VI. Furthermore, self-development is more about listening to others then proving something to ourselves. When we move our attention towards the people that surround us, we realise they act as our best guides. They will reflect what needs to improve or our improvements. Knowing when to listen to others will give us wings to become our best.

VII. We should develop a great appreciation for our present self rather than having an obsession for a desired future self. If we want to succeed with positivity, it is important to appreciate the new person we are becoming at every present moment. Having a habit of gratitude along the process is key.

VIII. It’s important to look at the bigger picture. Everything we do has a cause and generates an effect. Inner growth account for a bigger sense of responsibility. It’s not only about ourselves, but mostly about how it can benefit others.

IX. One of the best parts of our improvement is the part where we share it with others. Telling people about our intentions helps us to bring our self-development to reality. Being honest with ourselves is very important.

X. Self-development should feel like attracting improvement rather than self-imposing it. When we feel everything is against us, we shouldn’t persist nor give up. It is a clear sign that we need to shift our mindset and actions to a new approach better aligned with ourselves. If we start noticing the magic of things coming to us, it usually means we are taking the right path.

I sincerely hope that these ideas will resonate with your inner-self and will guide you.

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Antonio Jose de Mello
Food for Soul

A creative chef and spiritual seeker in search of self-growth. Find me one @cookingoneoff and foodforsoul.guru