After My Best Friend’s demise, I Found Happiness

It is a bit shoking to write those lines n even me, inside me, when I realize suddenly this feeling, I felt ashamed: yes how can I be now happy n peaceful when I lost my alter ego?

In my mind, then, all those years with her friendship flooded in my mind: she was really a nice person in heart but her behaviour with me, was toxic. I never thought about this impression, when she was alive as I was so occupied to please her with the fear that she would cut with me, with the fear that I will not be able to live without her.

All those years , and it is now 2 years since she passed away, my health is destroyed . I became suddenly diabetic. In my family, nobody, my parents, nobody has this disease. I became hysterical too, shouting for any stupid reason; in my neighbourhood, people heard my fightings wth my sister, and it was just a shame.

She was not living near me; thousand kilometers separated us. But without her every day call, I was lost and anxious.

I lost her in 2021. In the beginning, I tried to draw her, to read her words bc my mind just to memorise her souvenirs.

After her death, something strange happened inside me: suddenly, I dont know why, a passion emerged in me: the passion for gardening… before, I was never interested in it. This passion became my joy, the reason of my life.

It was just strange: now when I go near any plant nursery, I can’t help myself but I buy mostly scrubs. The joy I feel at this moment is just indescriptible ….

This passion changed my caractere; I became serene and I am more sociable and joyful.

Thanks to this passion, I have created little gardens on the pathway behind my home, another behind my shop. I bought also beehives: seing every morning those beautiful bees working so hard, gives me the reason to live.

After her demise, I begin to be also a digital and watercolor artist . This hobby, too, calms my soul and my mind.

I am writing this true story of my life, just to show how I escaped depression and sadness.

LOULOUA ASGARALY

MAHAJANGA

MADAGASCAR