Why some people with ADHD self-medicate — including me

There was one class in college that I just could not seem to get through without falling asleep. It was a 3 p.m. class, and the subject matter was super interesting. But something about that time of day always came with a crash.

I wasn’t sleeping well (I also had an 8 a.m. class) and I’d always been prone to what’s called “intrusive sleep,” which is a documented symptom of ADHD. Except at that point, I hadn’t yet been diagnosed with ADHD.

So, I loaded up on anything I could to help me stay awake, alert, and tuned in to class. First it was garden-variety energy drinks. Then it was caffeine and diet pills. Then, when I found a reputable connection, it was teeny-tiny bumps of cocaine, which did the trick — but was expensive, inconvenient, and risky.

I would continue to get ambushed by inconvenient naps for years to come. In anticipation of a crash, I’d load up on whatever uppers I could get (and stomach). This put a huge amount of pressure on my body, further wrecked my sleep, and only helped a little.

My ADHD medication, though? It helps a lot. In fact, getting medicated for ADHD helped me stop using illegal substances, cut my drinking significantly, and generally helped me stop self-medicating.