Radical Empathy: Why it’s ok to change your mind
Those who change their opinions feel much happier, radical empathy can help you do this
This blog is going to be a manifesto of my principles over time and what I stand for. It will also be an opportunity for me to ingrain those principles in myself. You should expect my ideas to change and adapt as I go on this journey of discovery. I’m not afraid to shift my thinking, that’s the beauty of learning. Whilst I am sharing these ideas, I have not perfected them myself or practiced them to the fullest. I am on a journey that is trying to make me less individualistic, more caring and approachable.
Changing our opinions
In our world, it’s embarrassing to admit failures or changes in opinion. Politicians are often seen as failures for their ‘u-turns’. I think it should be the opposite, changes of opinion should be applauded and encouraged.
We should change our opinions because we can, because we can build on what we learn from. Many fear that changing their opinions because makes them less like themselves but that’s ok. We are growing and developing, getting stronger and wiser with age. This is the positive part of developing as a human being. It allows us to change and improve, whatever our age.
Learning helps us form our opinions and reshape them as we learn about different places, people and ways of life. In education there is plenty of evidence that learning shapes our opinions and beliefs.
When discussing an argument, your rebuttal is not necessary, listening is far more important unless the argument you are having with another person or group is lacking in debate, knowledge or structure.
All thoughts should be tested and ideas formed from experience. There are people in this world who have ideas that will be more successful than mine but I will aim for the best and follow their lead. You should not be fearful to accept the criticism of others as it will help you move forward. Mistakes are the best teachers. Trust your instincts. There will be something in everything that is worth remembering. There is no time for endless second guessing when opportunities arise. If you can’t improve it, then it’s probably wrong. Avoiding mistakes is the biggest risk of all. When you make mistakes, embrace it and learn from it, don’t get defensive and make excuses. The way to do this is through more empathetic reasoning.
Empathy will lead to change
Empathy is a skill that should be taught early on in childhood. We are born empathetic because we have many emotions, such as happiness, sadness, grief and fear. Our brains recognise these emotions and process them in different ways to how we understand other people’s. For example, we cannot empathise with how someone is feeling because we only experience our emotions. The aim of this Second Renaissance that I am trying to shape is to teach empathy and how our brain’s react to it, how they develop as we grow. In turn, this will make us more empathetic to the people around us and improve our lives and the lives of others.
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.” — Vitale.
I don’t stress often, and I think that my approach to empathy is the leading distresser in my life. I am very happy to change my mind and listen to other people’s opinions therefore I don’t over stress when I fail.
Why I am happy to change my mind
It’s a common mistake to believe we have free will in our everyday lives. Our universe was never designed to be a meritocracy. You can use yourself as a prisoner to one of these forces, or you can overcome them. We only have two choices; change the forces that are holding us back or accept our fate. We choose to change or accept the inevitable.
We must be aware of the power of others. Our perception of reality is much too narrow. It is very easy to become caught up in our own story. I am fairly happy because I have a mindset that my destiny is already somewhat predetermined. Whilst I don’t know whether I believe in a God in the traditional and biblical way of thinking, I know that there is a powerful force out there that I cannot control, that force is the will and billions of actions of people around me taken every second, their emotions, the consequences of their thoughts. I cannot control that.
Let me be clear that we don’t have to agree with every idea I mention or believe in every aspect of them. I am working to move beyond any dogma I hold on all of these points. I only want to address them in an open and non-judgmental way and offer an explanation for why these are important to me. I accept that they may be wrong.
Learning to change our thinking will shift how our society operates.
I believe the learning will lead us to become more caring and humble. We should help other people in our lives. The shift in attitude of “do I want to help this person or do I want to win, win, win”, is the bigger shift in thought, and we need to make this change in our thinking. We need to consider we are just too small and insignificant in the grand scheme of life. It is not about everyone else, it is about who you are and who you help. A change in our thinking is a sign of maturity. The need to help is out there, and that is why we should try and always help others. We can do it even at the expense of our own success. Being humble and mature means being a good person. Who doesn’t love to help people? In the next blog, I will explain how the second renaissance can drive this approach.
