No You’re Not an Impostor
Impostor Syndrome
Have you ever had the feeling that your co-workers are going to suddenly realize that you’re a fraud? That you’ve been fooling everyone this whole time and all your success is just a matter of luck, charm, or good connections?
If you are nodding your head ‘yes’ to any of these things, you may be suffering from impostor syndrome. What is impostor syndrome you ask? Here’s the definition:
Impostor syndrome is a persisted disbelief in your own intelligence, skill, or competence despite contrary evidence.
Some people suffering from impostor syndrome are convinced that they are undeserving of others’ praise because they live in a state of continual doubt in their ability to repeat past achievements.This narrative is something I can relate to on a personal level. The funny thing about impostor syndrome is that most of the time, in order to feel like an impostor, you actually must have accomplished something in the first place! Looking back, in order for me to reach my current position as a software engineer with FordLabs I have completed tasks that are, in fact, great accomplishments. I have an associate degree in Java, and a bachelor’s in Computer Science. I had worked for 2 years as an intern turned full-time web developer before coming to FordLabs. Yet sometimes, like so many others, my internal narrative is all about how “lucky” I am to have gotten the job I am in. And sometimes I worry that I might someday be found out — that I really don’t belong here at all. These feelings of imposter syndrome are not healthy. This kind of self doubt can get in the way of your personal development and career growth. I’m learning to combat these feelings and drop some of these bad habits. If you are feeling the same way there are some techniques that I have found helpful in re-writing my internal narrative that I’d like to share with you.
One thing that helps me the most when I’m feeling impostor-y is to remember: If you’re feeling like an impostor this is probably because you have accomplished a great deal! Now, logically I can accept this, and most days I believe it. However, sometimes when you’re struggling on a particularly difficult bug, or if things on your team aren’t going smoothly it might be difficult to remember this advice and snap out of your imposter-y feelings. So, there are a few more tips to remember.
The next is to be fair to yourself. To quote Teddy Roosevelt,“Comparison is the thief of joy”. When you compare yourself to others you are comparing only what you perceive of them to what you believe about yourself. This is already a skewed view of the world. The other person may seem totally confident and in control on the outside, while inside they may be feeling like a fraud just like you! Or worse, they don’t actually know what they are talking about.
However, I understand we are mere mortals, so if in an internal impostor syndrome storm you end up comparing yourself to your coworkers, try to take a step back. Ask yourself, “Who is it that you are comparing yourself to?” Is that person truly comparable to you in experiences and tenure? It is not fair to compare yourself to someone who has years more experience than you do. The only person you can scientifically compare to is yourself.
An easy way to do this, and another way to help combat impostor syndrome is to to keep a learning journal. This technique is recommended by my pair programming partner Christopher Tobolski as a way to have have tangible evidence to show where you are now versus where you were last month. Personally, it is somehow easy to jump from not immediately knowing something like how to write a good asynchronous JavaScript test to thinking, “I don’t know anything at all!” This can even turn into questioning how I landed this job in the first place. (Which, of course, is ridiculous from anyone else’s point of view). With a learning journal you can be accountable to yourself by writing down the things you want to learn, or don’t understand as they come up. Then later you can plan a roadmap for how you will learn those things. If you are one for positive reinforcement, a learning journal may be a good place to keep track of your past accomplishments, or positive feedback you have received.
If impostor syndrome is something you can relate to, I hope you now know that you are not alone. I’d love to know if you try any of these tricks, or if you have tips of your own!
