Interviewing While Pregnant

Jodie and I have both been caught in the predicament of interviewing while we’ve been pregnant. I’ve been a founder and CEO and understand both the perspective of the mom seeking employment and the employer seeking great talent, often on abridged timelines and budgets (esp in startup land). I wanted to share more about my views in being both a CEO and a mom in order to provide some helpful tips and perspectives you can use if you’re seeking employment while pregnant.

My CEO perspective

As a founder and CEO, even as a mom of two young kids, I couldn’t help but feel gutted when an employee told me she was going out on maternity leave, especially when they’ve just started working. I was building the next unicorn, deploying capital as quickly and efficiently as possible, our team was always short on headcount, each team member was wearing multiple hats, the last thing I felt we needed was to be down a team member.

As a mom (and a dad), I believe taking care of oneself, the baby and the family is a critical part of our journey on earth as human beings. And not only spending time to nurture your/baby’s physical health, but also having enough space, time and lack of stress to enjoy the precious time that goes by fast. The newborn stages are a time to connect with your baby, your partner, and your family. This is what our ancestors have done for millennia, its what our hormones tell us to do, its what doctors are prescribing.

Taking maternity leave as a founder and CEO

I had both my kids while working on my startup for little to no pay. For both kids, I took <4 weeks mat leave and was back full time thereafter. It was shitty, I felt robbed of a basic right all moms should have (and I would also argue dads). But it was my company and not being there was detrimental to the business. I don’t personally believe it’s possible, within a small growing organization, to have a normal mat leave when you’re a founder/CEO. Unless you’re at a rare stage of being well funded, well equipped with the perfect team, and have easy, attainable company goals, I think being gone for 12+ weeks puts a lasting strain on the business.

As CEO and founder I tried to design the best maternity leave I possibly could, heres what it looked like…my mat leave started 1 week prior to my due date + 4 weeks after baby was born. This 1 week before due date gave me the mental space needed to go into labor, tie up lose ends at home, and have critical time with my newborn. Of course 4 weeks flies when you’re in the newborn era and I wasn’t ready to go back (at all). My compromise was going back at partial capacity for a few weeks then it ramped back up to normal over the following 1–2 months. It allowed the business to move forward, people to access me so I wasn’t a bottleneck, and have the flexibility I needed to breastfeed. I have to give a shout out to the company Elive for creating the life saver cordless, handless, quietest breastpump ever made (conveniently invented right before my second son was born). It made going back to work possible.

The truth about employers

In the US employers have no legal right to ask you if you’re pregnant, about to become pregnant or anything about your home life (marital status, how many kids you have, etc) and none of these factors should influence their decision to hire you. It’s considered discrimination. However, its very hard to prove your pregnancy or marital status had anything to do with whether you got the job or not and employers know this. They can think of a host of reasons why you’re not the right fit and they would likely be legitimate reasons. Employers who know you’re pregnant (or have recently become a new mom) will undoubtedly see this as a downside. Your time will be taken away from the company, they will have to pay maternity leave, accommodate your schedule etc.

And there are no obvious or immediate financial incentives or benefits for a company to think otherwise. Unless the government provided subsidies or there were more incentives to hire pregnant women / moms, companies will most likely continue to have a negative bias towards us during these reproductive years. Of course, I would advocate that hiring moms makes for a more diverse team of empathetic, intuitive, honest, thoughtful people. But intangibles are hard to measure especially when investors are only measuring the bottom line. If you’re a company that openly values these characteristics and prioritizes them, rock on. We need more like you!

So how do I navigate interviewing while pregnant?

Since Jodie and I have both interviewed while pregnant and been on the hiring side of the table (we’ve also spoken to many other professional women about their “interviewing while pregnant” journeys), we wanted to share our advice on how to approach it. Of course, this comes with many caveats as each employer, situation, role and person is vastly different. But we think this method provides fairness both to you and the employer and creates trust and transparency with your new boss.

1. While interviewing, make them fall in love with you

Go through the interview process as if you’re planning on fully committing to the job for the foreseeable future, forgetting about needing a potential mat leave, flexible schedule stipulations, etc.

2. Make sure the job realistically and honestly fits YOUR needs

While interviewing, ask good questions to ensure the job realistically fits your lifestyle, personal needs, and financial requirements. You might realize that the job is your dream job on paper but doesn’t accommodate your lifestyle or life stage at all…which means its not the right role right now for you

1. Make a list of your non-negotaiables (e.g. I need a fully remote job or I need to make $xx)
2. Ask questions like:

• What are your travel requirements?
• How much in office time do you expect for the role?
• What does compensation look like for the role?
• What are your vacation, maternity leave, and bereavement policies?

3. Get the offer

You want to be in the negotiating seat. Getting the offer is the goal. Worry about the pregnancy communication after.

1. If you are negotiating pay, terms, etc, now is the time to ask for it. Not after you share pregnancy news. You may have 1–2 back and forths after the negotiating process before you share your news. Get to an offer you’re happy with. Do not give yourself the pregnancy discount (e.g. I’ll take less money since I’m pregnant so it’s fine what they offered me).

4. Share your pregnancy + how you’ll support your mat leave to create a good partnership

Ask for a candid conversation with the hiring manager or senior level person making the hiring decision. Phrase the conversation like this

1. I am really excited about the offer, thanks for your team’s time in interviewing me
2. I really think this fits me and my skills for these reasons XYZ
3. I wanted to be candid with you that I’m xx months pregnant. I am interviewing for this role because I want to work, I am attracted to your company and I see myself working here for a long time. I’ve thought about how I can support the team prior to, during and after my mat leave and I will take responsibility for the role
4. I think transparency is important in a partnership and I wanted to start off on the right foot. I hope you appreciate and understand the stage of life I am in and I plan to accept the offer