Shared Vulnerability

I was 22 years old. I was never the type of person to pry or dig too deep into detail. This was especially true when it came to personal conversations, I never pushed anyone to tell me how they felt. I kept on like this for a long time until one day in the middle of March I got a text message from one of my best friends, “Can we go for a drive? I need to talk.” It was absolutely out of character.

He picked me up from my apartment and we drove off. He didn’t say anything right away and quickly my interest had turned into concern. About twenty minutes in, he finally pushed the words out. He drove slowly when he looked at me, and...

Him: “Man, I’m having a really hard time.”

Me: “What do you mean, with what?”

Him: “Everything. I can’t think straight, everything is a mess and I don’t know what to do.”

Me: “Well it can’t be that bad. You’re finishing up school, your future’s bright, your family loves you… It’s all looking pretty good.”

Him: “Man, you have no idea.”

As he spoke those words, he broke down. He started to shake, his words turned to stutters and tears began to fall. I was in complete shock. I had no idea what my own best friend was about to say… I was completely oblivious to it all until:

Him: “I’m suicidal.”

Everything around us stopped in its’ tracks. It shook me to the core. The words he spoke hit me like a ton of bricks as we sat in the car. I thought, “What do I do? How do I react? What should I even say?” I froze. I was overwhelmed and then I just cried with him, and for the rest of the ride he finally let it all out.

Listening to him try and explain how tough things were made it clear just how long he had been holding back for. The stress and the pressure, it compounded over so many years. I could see the pain behind the silence and how it had paved way for his own very dark path. He did everything he could not to tell anyone because he feared the judgment, being treated differently and that chip on his shoulder.

Opening up, however, uncovered how quickly he could set himself free from his darkness. He wasn’t out of the tunnel but he could see the light and feel the pressure lifting. It lead towards a long journey of recovery, and thankfully he’s doing much better now.

The courage it took to pull himself up and reach out was something I’ll never forget.

That day changed me. I vowed to never fall into the habit of complacent relationships ever again. I want to be there for those near me and to listen as best I can to the subtle hints. We can’t forget that we are all going through this thing called ‘life’ together, and at times there is no doubt that it will become too difficult to bear alone. That’s why I love the idea of “Shared Vulnerability”.

We have to understand and embrace that we can all be vulnerable. Think about it. Every single person you know could be dealing with something on absolutely any given day. Family members, co-workers, and friends could be at the highest or lowest point in their lives, and you may have no idea. So, reach out! Be there for those you care about most. Share what makes you vulnerable and encourage others to do the same. We need each other, don’t you get that?

Take Away

To be vulnerable shows strength and bravery. Do everything you can to bring down your walls so that you can become the start of a positive shift in mindset.

Is it easy to be vulnerable?… No, it’s actually really f*cking hard.

But once you show others it’s okay to open up, beautiful things happen: Your relationships will take on a more meaningful level, you’ll be able to ask for support when you need it, and you’ll be apart of the change for a less judgemental society.

And that’s exactly what we need.

To be there for one another no matter what. More love, less hate.

Challenge: Call someone you care about today and ask them how they are. Really dig deep and find out how they’re feeling. Your voice and support could be all they need right now.

The above concept is what we’re all about at FLAG, Forever Learning And Growing, as people and as one. So please subscribe and join our newsletter if you enjoyed reading this. Your support helps us continue our journey to create a community without judgement where we can all share our most difficult experiences in the hopes that they’ll help someone else. ❤

Originally published on theflagmovement.com