Ok I’ll admit it. I’ve got fat again.
Well, fatter than I was before. Not as fat as I used to be. But fatter than I’d like.
When I look down, I’m not happy about what I see. I see someone who’s been too stressed to work out. Someone that hasn’t made time for health. Someone who’s lost his sense of perspective on work and life.
When I was a kid, I was always fat. For as long as I can remember. People told me often. Tried to ‘help’. I’m not sure that’s a thing by the way — I didn’t want help, I wanted food and lethargy.
When I started dating something had to change. I wasn’t happy how I looked, so I got into fitness. Instead of making myself do it, I did what I always do.
I researched the shit out of everything health and fitness
I didn’t wanna know how to shed a few pounds. It didn’t interest me at all. I wanted to shred it all. I wanted to look like a swimwear model.
I geeked out on food, exercise, lifestyle, everything. For years. And eventually I was looking pretty good.
I could see six abs. I was happy with my shirt off. I felt better about myself, and that made me feel better about everything else in my life.
I’d found my true self
I spent about a year looking great. Then I found startups.
My obsession moved over from fitness to business. You improve what you measure, and I stopped measuring my health.
I gained a tiny bit of fat, nothing drastic. Then a tiny bit more. And more. And more. You can probably see where this is heading.
A few days ago I’d had enough. It’s gone too far. I need to get back to how I’m supposed to look.
So I joined a gym. Did my first workout yesterday. My legs feel like death, but that’s kinda awesome.
I walked out of the gym feeling more positive not only about fitness, but about life.
It may be vain. A little pathetic even. But looking good makes me feel better. And I want to feel better.
Work, health, relationships, they’re all related. You need balance to be truly happy. Maybe you can do a few years of solid work to the exclusion of everything else, but trust me, it catches up with you.
I’m just a guy from the UK that’s okay at writing, better at startups, awesome at making coffee.
This is day 80 in a 365 day writing experiment. You can check out why I’m writing every day here.