Diary of a Crazy Chick…
When my friends are asked what word best describes me, the most common answer is crazy, or nuts.
I’m not inclined to disagree, it’s something that is and always will be a part of me, so I’m always finding new ways to deal with it. Mental health still has a huge stigma attached to it.
I’m not here to change the world, I’m more realistic than that, but I want people to know what it’s like. To maybe sew seeds of understanding. I do that by blogging here.
I know. Dumb right, writing a diary online for all to see….
It’s a way of keeping myself honest and accountable for that honesty.
A way of sharing with the world what it’s like to be an invisible cog. How you can help others to greatness and yet be totally screwed up to the point where you just can’t make anything happen for yourself.
A way of explaining how people who have been abused and manipulated their whole lives turn out. The difficulties we have.
A place for me to let off steam, preach about leaving bad people behind and to show the world how I cope with my many issues — incase the world finds it useful.
A place where I’ll try to come to terms with my husbands terminal condition — or not as the case has so far been.
Here’s my deal:
I am the dreamer who never chooses to believe in herself enough.
The person who could do some amazing things if she just let go of some of her inhibitions.
I thrive on the Disney mentality — I know I’m meant to be a princess — but most of the time it feels like I’m the only one that knows it — but if I try hard enough…
I am the person who puts herself last.
I can make things happen for other people.
I am a silent cog, someone who works hard, makes things happen, but never gets the credit, recognition or rewards, because I can’t stand up for myself, but I ain’t happy about it.
I dream of bigger things but I lack the conviction or confidence to do anything about it.
I’m not good at being in charge — of anything — unless it’s unimportant.
I am bipolar.
Anxiety plagues many of my waking (and sleeping) moments.
100 years ago I’d have probably been electrocuted in the name of mental health.
But, I’m quite self aware about it all — which sometimes makes it all the more painful.
Dip in and find out what it’s like to be me.
Or, if that’s all a bit too heavy for you, have a look at my stuff on Marketing, Content and Creative Writing.
I’ve just re-vamped my publication! Yaaaay! This is an intro to one of my new sections — because I just figured out how to organise my content!