You Can Start Transitioning Later in Life Also

Chris Hedges
Nov 30, 2019 · 5 min read
Photo by Drew Graham on Unsplash

You can be non-binary while you transition slowly into the person you want to be, too!

You know the feeling that you’re different.

I have known I was different for years. Ever since I was 4 or 5. I wanted to play dress up and house.

You might have felt the same way also. You felt life you didn’t completely fit in or that you have to adjust the way wanted to be to match what others, like parents and people in the community, said you should be.

If you’re in your 40s or older, you know how it was back in the 1970s and 1980s. You couldn’t get much information about transgender issues.

If you were like me, you might have experienced your gender identity on a continuum.

I liked hanging out with the guys playing army and wandering around the woods getting dirty and muddy as well as having pretend tea parties with the girls when I was in elementary school.

If you are like me, you like both your feminine and masculine sides.

I never knew about transgender resources until I was older

When I was young, there was not much talk about transgender or LGBTQIA+ issues. If you’re in your 40s or older, you know how it was back in the 1970s and 1980s. You couldn’t get much information about transgender issues. I remember my only knowledge that there were other people who felt like me was through fundamentalist religious television preachers who weren’t supportive. I was closeted for a long time because of anti-transgender sentiment I had seen a couple of time on television shows during the 1970s.

Growing up as an Army brat made it tough

To make it worse, I grew up as an Army brat, so the environment was heavily focused on masculinity. And, nobody ever talked about anything that could jeopardize a military career. You had to make sure you were a good example for everyone else because living on a small Army base was like living in a small town. You knew everyone. At least everyone in your social circle. All the kids rode the same bus to school.

You had to present yourself as a good kid who always followed the rules. You would have a bad time, but you felt the social pressure to conform since the whole military structure is based on following strict rules.

Photo by Michael Dam on Unsplash

You sublimate and become a perfectionist to avoid your true nature

You end up sublimating a lot. You end up focusing energy on studying and trying to be the best child you could be. You end up trying to be the perfect golden child. You end up denying your transgender nature because you don’t want to upset the order in your small community.

You had to make sure you were a good example for everyone else because living on a small Army base was like living in a small town. You knew everyone. At least everyone in your social circle. All the kids rode the same bus to school.

Focusing all of my energy on school kept me relatively sane during high school because I was busy studying and joining organizations that would fill up all my time. Many of you know how it was feeling different. You end up trying to be “extra-normal’ and doing all the things “normal” kids do.

You do what is expected by society to not rock the boat

You end up presenting as a man during this time (and after) because that was what was expected by society. You fear the threat of prejudice and discrimination. You don’t want to stand out. You don’t want to be subject to ridicule or rejection. You know how it is when you’re young and trying to figure out who you are. It’s a rough time for everyone. You just don’t know that until you’re older and wiser.

You end up sublimating a lot. You end up focusing energy on studying and trying to be the best child you could be. You end up trying to be the perfect golden child. You end up denying your transgender nature because you don’t want to upset the order in your small community.

I remember wanting to be a girl when I was in middle school. But, I knew there was no way for it to happen. Back in the early 1980s, there was no information that let me know about transitioning.

There are many more resources now for us older transpeople

I have lived life in a non binary fashion. I dressed up in private and later became comfortable going out dressed up.

I have met many transgender people who have gone through many of the same things I have.

You can get to know trans people a lot easier these days

I have also met some who have transitioned. They gave me information about doctors and clinics.

I got over my fear and told my counselor and my psychiatrist that I liked to dress up and found out they had no issues with that.

I made an appointment with a clinic in the next state over to start HRT. My red state has some clinics that work with transgender patients, but the big city across the border was closer than my the resources in my state which were further away.

I started my estradiol and androgen blocker about three weeks ago.

I feel like a new person. If you transition, you’ll feel the difference also!

I know the results will take a little time, but I feel at peace now that I am doing something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I just never had access or the confidence to start the journey until now.

You can transition later in life too!

If you want to transition later in life, you can do it.

Find a good counselor to talk over your issues and to raise your desire to transition.

You should find an informed consent clinic for your transition so you won’t need a letter from your mental health professional

You can find a clinic that doesn’t require a letter from your counselor. Look for “implied consent clinics” that will let you transition once you know all of the ramifications.

If you are in Chicago, the Howard Brown Health Center is a clinic that works on the implied consent model.

You can also check with your local health care providers or search online in your local area to see if they offer transitioning services.

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Chris Hedges

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I 💗 you! Erotica/Poetry/Sci-Fi/Fiction. NB/ transfem 🏳️‍🌈 ⚧️ Great reads: 96c.co/chris/favorites/

Fortune Favors the Bold

Stories of love, life, money, and power.

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