Beige
This path is narrow down the center of the room. I keep my arms rigid as they hang so they don’t touch the sides. It’s because it’s crowded. There are so many of us, as many as can fit. It’s more of a human conveyor belt than a path, it inches us forward as one unit. We all have the same goal anyway, to find our place. We each have a specific space waiting for us, a place only we can fill.
The entire room is beige. It’s the most beige room I’ve ever seen. The walls are an old, dirty beige. The air tastes beige. Even the windows tint the outside world beige. I can feel it on my skin. As soon as I stepped into this room, I began to dull.
I am adapting, blending in. I’m becoming a quieter version of who I was before. I’m sure I had color before. I can remember my shirt being green. It’s muted now, more of an olive shade. I’ll soon be beige too.
And it doesn’t matter what I brought me. Everything is part of the room now. It’s out of my hands. I can’t see any of my previous belongings. They have been consumed into the walls and are now part of the structure.
Many of us have filled our spaces already. They found their spots and melted in. They are absorbed and content.
I am not in it yet, so I wait. I continue forward and I hope for the special space, where I fit.
There’s someone orchestrating this process. She knows where we all go. She knows how we all fit. And only she knows how it all ends. I’m relieved it’s not me. I’m glad there’s a conductor. Sorting us. Expertly guiding us into the empty spaces that are waiting for us.
As we move she smiles. She smiles to comfort us. She smiles to coax us. She smiles because it’s her job.
My space is ready for me. It’s empty and inviting, calling to me. When it’s my turn, the conductor signals to me. I take a deep breath. Can I make it? Can I conform? Am I ready?
I exhale. I can and I do. Of course I do. It was my space all along. Once I am in, I feel safe. I’m right where I belong.
I am part of it now. I can relax and observe. As the rest of us file into their empty spaces, I can smile. I can smile because I am comforted. I can smile because I am home.
