“I Want the Opportunity to Suck Like a White Dude.”

A note from the author: Wow! It’s getting torchy and pitchforky out there. Apparently, DEI is the worst thing that’s ever happened to white men, and that includes the sinking of the Titanic. (FYI: DEI is not responsible for that event. The DEI hires came on another boat.) So, you rage against DEI, holding on to the lie of meritocracy like a life raft in the cold waters of disappointment. (FYI: Not DEI’s fault.) You say the jobs you think are yours are going to unworthy DEI candidates because they are not white. Interestingly, I know a Black woman who lost out on a good job to a candidate who is a sexual predator, grifter, deviant, and felon because he is white. Go figure. Maybe you just don’t know the right people.

No worries. In the spirit of empathy, inclusion, and generosity — and because Black Americans, like me, have long mastered the subtle art and sublime science of resilience — I am gifting my share of Black History Month to those who suffer from DEI Derangement Syndrome. Yes, those poor souls who believe the greatest injustice of our time is the five-year flirtation Corporate America had with DEI before running for the hills. In recognition of your sad and tragic struggle, I dedicate this month’s informative, solution-focused articles to helping you get beyond DEI and cope with life in the 21st Century. Read on, brothers and sisters, read on.

I was having one of my candid, straight-no-chaser conversations with the CEO of a major advertising holding company — a white man, of course. The topic? How white men are given infinite chances to fail up while everyone else gets shown the door at the first sign of turbulence.

Me: “As a Black woman, if I had the performance of the current CEO of your subsidiary, a white man, who, by the way, lost 50 percent of the company’s revenue during the last three years, you would have fired me 18 months ago.”

Holding Company CEO: “You’re probably right.”

Me: “And you’re still letting him run the show.”

Holding Company CEO: “Yes. We’re hoping he can turn it around.”

Me: “Wow. I appreciate the opportunity to succeed, but what I really want is the opportunity to suck like a white dude.”

Shocked and slightly amused at my candor, the CEO chuckled nervously. I didn’t. I knew the reality. White men have been given the chance to fail spectacularly, recover, and still make millions, all while the rest of us get shown the door at the first stumble. Fact: The subsidiary’s CEO was eventually promoted to another position in the holding company. Meritocracy! I don’t think so. After centuries of being the primary beneficiaries of systemic affirmative action for white men — white men are now whining that diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) efforts have put them at a disadvantage.

A bold claim.

Affirmative Action for White Men: 400 Years of Head Starts

The numbers don’t lie. White men have been benefiting from a massive, state-sponsored affirmative action program since before the ink dried on the Constitution. Let’s break down the receipts:

• Generational Wealth Gap: The median white household in the U.S. is worth nearly $250,000, compared to $27,100 for Black families (Federal Reserve). If Black families had been allowed to accumulate wealth at the same rate since Emancipation, they’d collectively have $20 trillion more in assets today (McKinsey & Company). Giving up lattes won’t change a thing.
• Housing and Redlining: Federal policies deliberately locked Black families out of homeownership for decades, costing them an estimated $4.4 trillion in lost wealth (Brookings Institution). Meanwhile, white families built home equity that was passed down through generations. To give credit where credit is due, many white women helped build white generational wealth by pitching in after they benefited from the affirmative action policies inspired by the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s. One of the things that makes you say hmm…
• Business Ownership: White entrepreneurs have received disproportionate access to capital, contracts, and venture funding, creating a cumulative business wealth advantage of $8 to $10 trillion (Harvard Business Review). If Black businesses had been funded at equal rates, they’d own 2.5 million more businesses today (McKinsey).
• Stock Market and Retirement: White families control nearly 90% of all capital gains assets, while Black families hold under 2% (Federal Reserve). If investment opportunities had been equally distributed, Black Americans would have $3 trillion more in wealth (Economic Policy Institute).
• Tax Policy Windfalls: The estate tax, mortgage interest deductions, and capital gains tax breaks have overwhelmingly benefited wealthy white families, widening the wealth gap by at least $6 to $7 trillion over the past century (Brookings Institution).

Put it all together, and the cumulative financial advantage white people, white men in particular, have amassed due to systemic affirmative action easily exceeds $30 to $50 trillion. Trillion.

Yet, after only five years of corporate DEI programs designed to ensure everyone feels safe, heard, valued, and productive, white men are filing lawsuits claiming they’re victims of “reverse discrimination.”

If They Can Sue, So Can We

Let’s play their game. If white men can argue that a few years of DEI hiring initiatives are unfairly “discriminating” against them, then those of us who have been locked out of opportunities for generations should sue for back pay, lost wealth, and damages.

If Harvard’s admissions policies can be dismantled because they allegedly “disadvantage” white and Asian students, then surely federal housing policies that shut Black families out of homeownership for generations deserve responding lawsuits.

If corporate hiring programs meant to increase racial diversity can be challenged in court because they make white men uncomfortable, then surely we can file lawsuits against the thousands of businesses that refused to hire Black people, women, and Indigenous workers for literal centuries.

For those still doing the math, here’s the bill that’s due:

• Black Americans: At least $20 trillion in lost generational wealth.
• Native Americans: You don’t even want to see the receipts on that theft. But land, resources, and centuries of stolen wealth would easily push their due amount beyond $30 trillion (Native American Rights Fund).
• Women of Color: The wage gap alone over a lifetime costs women of color millions in earnings per person. Across generations? We’re looking at another multi-trillion-dollar lawsuit (National Women’s Law Center).

Maybe Then, We’re Even

Here’s the deal: If DEI programs truly discriminated against white men at the same scale that housing policies, wage discrimination, business funding, and tax loopholes have hurt Black, Indigenous, and other marginalized communities, then white men wouldn’t just be losing a few jobs — they’d be losing entire generations of wealth. They aren’t.

Instead, we’ve had five years of incremental efforts to ensure white men must compete on a fair playing field with those often left out of the equation, and lawsuits ensued. Meanwhile, white men had 400 years of affirmative action to get it together to compete effectively without any more help. Are we supposed to believe they’re the victims?

If they really want to play the legal discrimination game, then let’s bring our receipts to court.

Because if white men are going to sue over DEI, then Black, Native, and marginalized Americans should be suing to get our money back.

And then, maybe, we’re even Steven. Then, just maybe, we’re square.