When The Black Sheep And Golden Child Clash In Narcissistic Families

If there is one thing Prince Harry’s Spare has taught us: separating yourself from unhealthy environments, including family, is sometimes the only choice when choosing peace.

Narcissistic families often have a dynamic where one child is designated as the “golden child,” while another is considered the “black sheep.” The golden child is often the one who is favored by the parents and is seen as the “perfect” child. They may receive special treatment and be given preferential treatment. On the other hand, the black sheep is often the outcast, who is viewed as the “problem” child. They may be criticized, belittled, and blamed for any issues within the family.

When the black sheep and golden child clash, it can be a difficult and painful situation for both parties. The golden child may feel threatened by the black sheep’s defiance, and may try to undermine them or make them feel guilty for their behavior. The black sheep, on the other hand, may feel resentful of the golden child’s privileged position and may lash out in anger.

One possible outcome of this dynamic is that the black sheep may become more rebellious and disengage from the family, while the golden child continues to strive for the approval of the parents. Alternatively, the black sheep may internalize their feelings of inadequacy and become depressed.

It is important to note that the golden child is not immune to the negative effects of growing up in a narcissistic family. They may struggle with feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and inability to live up to the expectations set for them by their parents.

A Dysfunctional Dynamic

The dynamics of a family where there is a designated scapegoat can be trying. The scapegoat is often the child who is most likely to recognize there is a problem and get help. The rest of the family uses the scapegoat to vent their own frustrations and resentments. — This can be caused by a dysfunctional family dynamic, where a narcissistic parent will direct love and praise at the golden child, while the black sheep is often neglected or even abused. The golden child seems to have an elevated role in the family, and everyone else must bear the brunt of their narcissist parent’s wrath.

This can leave both children feeling unseen and unheard, which can lead to resentment between them. The key to overcoming this problem is to acknowledge it and talk about it openly with everyone in the family. It is important for all members of the family to recognize that this issue exists, and that it needs to be addressed in order for things to improve. If one sibling feels they are being treated unfairly or unjustly, they should tell the rest of the family and have an open conversation about it. It’s also important for everyone involved — including both children — to apologize if necessary, as this will help foster understanding and acceptance between them. In addition, it is important for all members of the family — not just one — to work together on solving this problem.

I recognize the above would only work in a perfect well. Healthy families would confront the issue head on, but when you are involved in a family dynamic that encourages oneupsmanship, competition, and rivalries, the best thing to do is walk away.

When the black sheep and golden child clash in narcissistic families, it can create a family dynamic that is difficult to repair. Parents with narcissistic tendencies often validate only one of their children, seeking narcissistic parents to become aging narcissistic parents. This typically results in a pattern of the one parent being the ‘golden child’ while the other is considered the ‘black sheep’, leaving them feeling scapegoated and unloved. The sibling rivalry that can arise from these dynamics can be exacerbated by the parents flying monkeys; encouraging and enabling them to be pitted against each other. With these dynamics, it becomes even more important for all family members to work together to create a better environment, but this takes time and effort.

In the case of Spare, the effort was never taken.

Dysfunctional parents and families can be difficult to deal with, especially when there is a narcissistic parent. This type of parent will often put their own needs first and neglect the needs of their children, leading to problems with family dysfunction. As a result, children from these types of families may develop unhealthy coping mechanisms and try to avoid the dysfunctional parents. The family dynamic can also be affected by the presence of more narcissistic abuse in the form of enabling toxic sibling relationships or personality differences between siblings that are favored by one parent over another. This can create even more tension in the parent-child relationship, further affecting family life. The faults and problems that arise due to this kind of situation may become even worse in extreme cases, such as abuse or divorce, which can create even more conflict within the family.

For instance, Prince Harry felt he was never allowed to properly grieve his mother’s death. His father’s subsequent actions, bringing Camilla into the family, flaunting his relationship to his young sons; all played a part in creating the dysfunction between the brothers. As they grew older, William became more aware of his place in society and the family. On the flip side, so did Harry.

In a dysfunctional family, parental love is often skewed, and there may be an overabundance of need for attention from one parent, usually the mother. This can cause tension between the ‘golden child’ and the ‘black sheep’, as both will vie for their parents’ approval. The black sheep will feel discomfort around their other siblings, who seem to have it easy, while they themselves are punished or neglected. This can lead to them feeling like they are not good enough and have no control over their own life or future.

In order to heal from the damage caused by growing up in a narcissistic family, both the golden child and black sheep may benefit from therapy. A therapist can help them process their feelings and develop healthier coping mechanisms. They can also help them learn how to set boundaries with their parents and other family members, and develop a sense of self-worth that is not dependent on their parents’ approval.

In conclusion, the golden child and black sheep dynamic in narcissistic families can be a difficult and painful situation for both parties. It is important for individuals who have grown up in these types of families to seek therapy in order to heal and develop healthy coping mechanisms. With the right support, they can learn to break free from the cycle of dysfunction and build fulfilling lives for themselves.

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