Šefica or Štefica? Can a woman be the “she-boss” while also being likeble?

Last week, amidst the scorching Zagreb summer, my friends and I embarked on an adventure through the land of ex-Yugoslavian cinema. The flickering glow of 80s classics In the Jaws of Life directed by Rajko Grlic, based on a novel by the great, recently deceased Dubravka Ugrešic, filled the room as if to say, “Hey, forget the heatwave, let’s get nostalgic!”

Meet Štefica, the queen of wanting to please everyone, on a mission to find love and meaning - even if it means navigating more dating mishaps than a GPS with a twisted sense of humor. Dates come and go, and the only sparks she’s getting are from her microwave popcorn. Poor Štefica, her heart’s desires are forever pending.

Luckily, our leading woman finally decides to do something SHE likes and signs up for an English language course. Something she always wanted to do but didn’t find courage for. And just like that, ba da boom! While conjugating the verbs, she meets her love among the classmates.

Now, before you raise an eyebrow and wonder why I’m not diving into Barbie movie reviews to please the algorithmic overlords, hear me out. Štefica’s journey is more than a cinematic joyride; it’s a mirror to the rite of passage many female entrepreneurs need to go through. From ‘people-pleaser’ to ‘pursuer of passions’, sometimes more times than we care to admit.

I’ve been there. You’ve been there. And as Harvard Business Review, the posh teller of truths, reminds us, for women leaders, likability and success hardly go hand-in-hand.

So, what to do?

Here are some of the strategies I developed building my own business and teaching my business mentees how to do it for themselves.

First things first — I’ve transformed my reading list into a treasure trove of research. Because knowledge is a secret power.

And then there are my entrepreneurial therapy sessions — no, not the kind with the leather couch, but coffee dates where I discuss issues with my fellow entrepreneurs. Still waiting for that invite to the mastermind group? Yep, me too. One-on-one chats it is, for now.

And last but not the least, I question my inner Šefica and Štefica in all life situations. Am I the pleaser, or am I the pursuer? Can I be both? It’s an intellectual debate with a twist of somatic inquiry. My secret tools are meditation, movement, and the art of standing and walking like a popstar.

Don’t get me wrong — I don’t think that wanting to be likeable and to please others is wrong or bad in itself. But it can become a problem when it’s a default and/or required mode of being. No more “Why are you so serious?” comments from the peanut gallery!

So, there you have it. The story Štefica Cvek in the Jaws of Life is not just a vintage movie delight; it’s a symphony of entrepreneurial revelations.

How can a woman be likeable and still be the she-boss of her business (and life)? The answer is as complex and delightful as an 80s ex-Yugoslavian movie.