A Man Trying to Talk About Rape

Not surprisingly you don’t hear very much from men who are perpetrators. This is how I could have been.

WARNING: There are a few graphic descriptions and of course, the subject is not an easy one.

This is difficult to write about because I know how hard this could be for some people to read, so I don’t want to do it badly. I also fear coming across badly as a person from my story. But I know I need to risk it.

I think it’s important that men start talking about rape and its impact. I don’t mean being the victim of it (although I think there is a great taboo there as well) but being the perpetrator. Or should I say in my case, seeing how I could have been.

I had a revelation recently, I realized consciously something that I must have known sub-consciously all my adult life because it’s moderated my behavior with women ever since.

I was talking to a friend at the start of the summer, and it came up somehow that she had been raped. Even though it was a while ago her therapist wanted her to approach the police about it. Not surprisingly she didn’t think she could ever put herself through that. Another trauma with probably about a 2% chance of success. That is something that needs seriously dealing with too.