FAILURE ISN’T AN OPTION
Fighting the Good Fight in Storm Ravaged Cities and Towns
Can we strengthen schools’ response to family homelessness?
This week I towed my teardrop camper on backroads from my home in western North Carolina, down through storm ravaged cities, towns, and rural areas in NC, South Carolina, and Georgia into Florida. What I saw left me gobsmacked.
Having experienced firsthand the wrath of Hurricane Helene from the questionable safety of my Airstream-home, I thought I knew storm power. Not even close! So many suffered losses of, well, everything. No, I cannot imagine that. (This film offers a worthy perspective.)
I also cannot imagine ongoing existence surrounded by destruction, including your own home, as countless people seem to be doing in the areas I drove through on my way to Orlando. Tarps, downed trees, piles of rubbish, and utility trucks speak loudly of the wrath of storms past and present that we no longer hear about. No longer in our newsfeeds, we are unaware of their ongoing needs, leaving the struggling victims to eke out survival on their own.
Families, uprooted like towering pines, now find themselves in various forms of homelessness. Various forms? Maybe it helps to think of trees — lots of different species, unique shapes, sizes, and features. Just as trees aren’t “just” trees, people’s homelessness also comes in different forms, requiring a variety of responses.
Yes, this indiscriminate, unwanted affliction manifests beyond the stereotypical grizzled guy (also a human deserving help) on the street corner. For the four decades I’ve been working on this issue, I’ve expanded my previous narrow, unenlightened thoughts on who is homeless and why. I’ve shaped my response into, for the past 20 years, HEAR US Inc., my one-woman national nonprofit that gives voice and visibility to families and youth experiencing homelessness.
The little blue book that could
One response, with lots of help from friends, has been to co-author the unique book, The Three Melissas — The Practical Guide to Surviving Family Homelessness. Diana Bowman, my co-author/friend and I will introduce this handbook to thousands of professional education staff whose duties focus on students experiencing homelessness in our public schools. We’re presenting and exhibiting next week at the annual conference of the National Association for the Education of Homeless Children and Youth (NAEHCY) in Orlando.
We wish we could have the 3 Melissas with us. These courageous, articulate moms wowed Raleigh audiences when we launched the book in September. My esteemed colleague, Diana, said:
You can approach this academically and tell people about the law [McKinney-Vento] but there are no experts like the experts who have experienced it, and people are so receptive to that… — 9/26/24 NC Newsline article
As much as Diana and I grasp the many aspects of family/youth homelessness, the Melissas possess invaluable firsthand experience. Their impatience with our paltry responses is justified. They know what it’s like to look into the eyes of their children, feel failure as a mom, and know failure is not an option. We must do better!
Family homelessness handbook
The Melissas’ wisdom shared throughout our book will at least help. Parents, the main target of this pioneering guide (how many how-to books on surviving homelessness have you seen?), discover valuable tips and tricks. They get straight talk about dangers and predators. They learn what schools are responsible for, and how to make it happen. They hear from moms who’ve walked this treacherous path, but survived. They’ll realize that these relentless trials and tribulations will develop superpowers. Practical tips abound throughout the book, as pointed out in this article in The Progressive Magazine (11/7/24):
In their survival guide, the three Melissas encourage other parents experiencing homelessness to build rapport with their school’s homeless liaison. Often, it is the liaison who connects the family with resources like tutoring, clothes and shoes, school supplies, snacks, and after school programs. — Progressive Magazine
Since not every school staffer knows what families endure when they lose housing, our little blue handbook has plenty of inside info to describe what their students are enduring. More understanding will pave the way for a better school experience for kids who need stability and nutrition. Yeah, some kids look at the maligned cafeteria food differently. It’s often the only food they get that resembles a balanced meal.
Every community has homeless families
I can’t help but continue to think of kids in the communities I drove through. They’re living in various homeless situations — doubled up, or worse, with family, friends, or strangers. They’re enduring sketchy life in shabby motels, surrounded by strangers and uncertainty, and possible predators. Other families tough it out in tents, cars, and places not fit for human habitation, much less for a kid to thrive.
With a scarcity of family shelters, only a few discover what life is like in these congregate facilities. One family in Asheville, NC, uprooted by the storm soon after landing in this formerly vibrant city, were hoping for a new start. In this Citizen Times article (11/15/24), the despondent dad describes his family’s situation:
Childs said they had been in Asheville for about two weeks when the storm struck, staying in a hotel at the time and waiting to find their forever home.
Now, they live among many others displaced and unhoused by Helene’s destruction. Their whole lives are packaged up in bins surrounding the room where they are left to raise their young children. — Citizen Times
Plenty more kids in need: no pressure
Diana and I will do our best to channel our inner Melissas as we present to our audience. We’ll proudly promote this book (with proceeds channeled to these 3 Melissas), knowing their anecdotes reflect the reality that literally millions of students go through, too many without help. And we’ll seek ways to focus people’s awareness and assistance on the millions of invisible babies, toddlers, and unaccompanied youth who lurk in the darkness of our country’s inadequate safety network.
Inspiring policymakers at this time of transition will require us to summon our superpowers. Failure is not an option!
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